Hi there, Skip ahead to the numbered list to find out why I’ve never felt so free in my life.
I want you to know…
To preface this writing, I want it to be known—I’ve been where you are. I’ve been to that internet oasis that constantly calls you back for more. I’ve scrolled countless days of my life, getting nothing done—while watching others be productive to the max.
I first got social media when I was in 5th grade. My mom let me have Snapchat and Instagram, neither of which she regulated. So you can imagine how happy I was. But back then, it wasn’t quite as addictive, or at least as captivating, as it would evolve to be in my teen years. I was still a young girl, and while watching YouTube and texting my friends on Snapchat took up some of my time, it was never my whole life. I was still caught up in talking to critters that didn’t know my name. As I grew up and went on to middle school, social media became incredibly important. It meant staying up to date on literally everything. It meant trying to always look cool and be pretty, and in exchange for these accolades, I felt like who I was at heart; it just didn’t matter as much. At least not in the sphere of social media. I was young and impressionable, and I wanted to be accepted. Thus the years of social media being an everyday thing to stay up to date, to stay cool, and to stay relevant had arrived.
Conversations with friends were interrupted by trying to make Tiktoks or texting boys. Don’t get me wrong, it can be fun, but at what expense? I’ve always been aware of the price social media makes you pay. I’ve always watched closely as my friend looked up at me in utter confusion, trying to process what I just said—because, lord knows, I’ve done the exact same thing.
Social media isn’t all bad. It can allow you to be yourself, especially if in the *real* world, where you might not be excepted. Social media provides an outlet for staying in contact with the ones you love. People create entire communities dedicated to their common interests, which I do support. But in the paradox of those “deep” connections that social media brings into almost everyone’s life, if you look around, you might find that you’ve never been so disconnected from your real community before. Maybe you stopped saying ” hi” to your bus driver on your daily commute. Perhaps you stopped saying thank you to customer service workers. Maybe you snubbed your best friend when she really needed you most. In light of staying so connected on social media, how can you also stay so connected in real life? Can you have both? I find it very hard.
There are so many ways in which we can lose sight of who we really are, who our peers are, and who the real people in our community are. I would argue this happens naturally, as social media is not the only driving factor of this issue. But social media certainly doesn’t help. While I recognize that social media can be a great tool for interaction and for building tight-knit communities, I only warn you to recognize that you may be missing out on the real, tangible world around you. When you lift your head from your phone and from that Instagram page, you will realize there are countless people to reach out to. When you reach out to those around you, you might realize that you feel more at home than you ever have. You might finally feel like you’ve never had such a distinct purpose. One that is real, that isn’t scrolling through your feed. Rather, a purpose that calls for your attention—your mind, your heart—to listen to others.
My relationship with social media for the better half of my life has been one that was sometimes utterly entertaining, hilarious, and incredibly fun, but also sometimes it was monotonous, anxiety-inducing, and never held my true interests at heart. It led me down roads where there was nowhere else to go—just empty plains that I could never see my way out of. Some roads winded, making me dizzy and losing all track of time. Of course, some paths led me to see a friend who had disappeared from my life. Nevertheless, it left me with no real destination. There was no goal, no fulfillment—I lost myself to scrolling my precious time away.
Social media may not be a problem for you, but if it is, I hope you may relate to the following: I hope you find answers and start a new journey of clearing your mind.
1. There is so much time in a day
While I’ve spent many days ready to chip away at long lists of tasks, I instead lost hours scrolling through reels. I had the purest intentions to start my day ready to get things done. But before I knew it, one hour, two hours, three hours were gone. No, it’s not your fault; we all know that those algorithms are meant to suck you in. But tracking your screen time and telling yourself “only a couple more videos” until you log off was never going to work. Maybe it worked for a while—but be honest with yourself—how many times have you just pressed ignore or “15 more minutes?” Much of the time I spent on social media, was a kind of escape.
Now that I have no social media, I find clarity in simple moments. I’ve realized that I actually love the quiet. In fact, the thought of scrolling endlessly through short-form content stresses me out. I just can’t do it anymore. But what I can do is sit with my thoughts- I don’t have to escape. I don’t have to feel like there’s always something better to be doing, that there’s always going to be one more thing I need to watch. My apologies to my friends for never watching the countless reels you sent. All that wasted time caught up with me. Without social media, I’ve noticed that there is so much more time. I just never recognized it because I was just spending it mindlessly through lives that weren’t my own.
Without the endless videos and the constant bombardment of information, hours of my day are mine again. My thoughts are mine again. What happens on social media doesn’t apply to me anymore. It isn’t my life. Time spent sitting with my friends feels important, sipping on coffee in the quiet feels peaceful, and worrying about how much stuff I need to get done has been cut in half. Because I know how I spend my time reflects how much time I feel there is in a day. When you fill your soul and mind with things that matter and that are beneficial to you, you feel like you have your own time. Time doesn’t rule you anymore. Neither does social media.
2. Less Anxiety
As someone who has anxiety to my core, I’ve always known that social media made it worse. It made procrastination easier, allowing me to avoid the things I needed to do. But using social media to avoid my tasks caused more anxiety, it was just a vicious feedback loop. There was always something else I should have been doing, but instead, I found myself scrolling away. Merely to get away from my thoughts, from my to-do list.
I thought spending time on social media could be an escape. But all it was was a prison. I was trapped, but I was the one holding the key.
I’ve found that without social media. I am not swamped with negative energy, problems that aren’t mine, or meaningless drama. My view of the world is my own. Social media doesn’t rule my thoughts. It doesn’t rule out my anxiety. Let’s face it, there are always going to be things you need to worry about. But does social media help subside your worries, or does it only add to them? Try to go without social media for a week. Notice how clear your mind is, how there is no more constant rush of information. You decide which world you want to live in.
3. Who’s that again?
When I had social media, I followed so many people I had never even met. Some of course taught me new things, gave me style inspiration, or made me crack the hell up. But none of them knew my name.
Besides entertainers, comedians, models, and “influencers,” I also found myself paying attention to girls my age. Maybe they were from the same town as me, but still, they had no idea who I was. Why would I spend so much time following and keeping up with people I had never talked to—and never would?
While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and there’s no harm in following people you don’t know, I reminded myself- who were they really to me? Would they actually care to talk to me? Would they remember my name at a party? Would they even smile at me as I walked past them on the sidewalk?
Without social media, strangers on the internet hold no weight in my life. They aren’t my friends, my family, my professors, or my peers. While I wish them the best in life, for they never did me wrong, I just don’t see the point of pouring energy into strangers. Given the vast amount of real flesh and blood and real people around me.
4. A better sense of self
Social media is a powerhouse of influence. Whether it’s your political beliefs, the clothes you wear, the music you listen to, or the food you eat, it can shape so many important aspects of who you are.
While these might seem like trivial things like the sneakers you buy or your favorite song- I find that they can say a lot about a person. But it’s hard to determine what makes someone unique when the vast majority, only adhere to the mainstream. And this isn’t to play “I’m more indie” or “I’m more underground” than you. Mainstream, of course, is cool, that’s why it’s mainstream. But what else is out there? What is under that mainstream? What would attract your interest if no one was telling you to like it?
Adhering and keeping up with a mainstream style or interest doesn’t make someone bad or less cool in any way. But rather, it makes me wonder- who would they be if all their favorite influencers or famous trends disappeared? What would they talk about? Would they still care about this trend or that? Would they still think the way they have for years? Or was their way of thinking highly influenced by others? I’m not so sure how the vast majority of teenagers, young adults, adults, and now- sadly kids, would act if it weren’t for the trends that happen on social media.
While social media can introduce people to ideas they never would have thought of on their own, I question how much it truly influences versus dictates how you should dress, what music you would like, or what food you should eat.
Maybe you got on social media confident in who you were, but years later, you realize you became only a product of the influence and expectations it churned out.
5. None of it mattered anyway
Social media makes you think everything is important. What this actor said, who cheated on who, why you should do this, why you should never wear that, why your favorite band sucks, or why the artist you find absolutely awful-at least to you- is somehow adored by everyone else.
And of course, there is the dreaded, “you’re going to die from cancer because of everything you do.” reels that make your heart sink and make you question If everything you do is wrong.
It’s a lot. It can stay on your mind. I know it did for me.
Should you rethink your favorite band? Their lyrics speak to you, but maybe they’re trash anyway. Should you stop watching that actors movie because of that recent scandal he was involved in? Whether you like it or not, whether you resist it or not, these ideas creep into your thoughts. They start shaping your perception of the world.
On the one hand, it’s a benefit to hear other people’s opinions, even if they don’t apply to you or align with your own. But how many years can you take of people fighting over arbitrary facts, misinformation, or debates that don’t actually impact your life? Who cares if you like a certain artist or don’t? Who cares if you think differently from the others?
The answer is social media- and all those caught under its chokehold. They care.
People want to be right. They want to be so damn right that they lose track of what’s important. And whether you realize it or not, you start wanting to be right too.
So, you stop listening to that band you always liked. You start overthinking every little thing you do- because, of course, some unlicensed “doctor” with a viral video and an obscure amount of likes told you you’re going to die of cancer.
My point is, when you delete social media, all those things you could’ve read about on your nightly scroll…They were never really important. Maybe you like that kind of thing, but there are truly more productive, less anxiety-inducing, and more fulfilling things you could be doing with your time.
And if you feel called out, so did I. I felt ashamed of how I spent my time. But now, I feel absolved of all the guilt of having social media. Now, I feel free.
The choice is yours
At the end of the day, social media isn’t inherently evil. It’s a tool- one that can either serve you or consume you. It can connect you with others or isolate you in a world of comparison and noise. The question isn’t whether social media is good or bad; it’s about how much control it has over you.
For years I let it dictate my time, my thoughts, my anxieties. I convinced myself that I needed it, that I would miss out on so many things, I thought social media was so important. But when I finally let go, I realized something profound- none of it had ever really mattered. The drama, the trends, the relentless need to stay updated- it all so quickly faded into irrelevance the moment I stepped away.
And in that space, where it was only quiet, I found myself again.
So, I leave you with this: If you’ve ever felt drained by the endless scroll, if you’ve ever questioned why you’re investing so much time in the lives of people who don’t even know you exist, maybe it’s time to take a step back. Find yourself again, reclaim your life, and your time.
The world is waiting to be interacted with, people are waiting to be talked to, and you have the power to make this a reality. You might just find, that the world off your phone, is where you will feel most fulfilled- where things truly matter. Take care of yourself.