“You have so much potential”. Yes, I do. I know that I do. What I really don’t know is what I’m supposed to do with all this unrealised potential before it rots and fades away into the earth? This question has puzzled me a lot. It still does sometimes. This dilemma of unused potential and underwhelming progress often presents as “I can do this, but I am not doing it”. What we fail to realise here is that this hesitancy to do things, to try stuff out, does not come from a sense of laziness, but rather, it originates from this feeling of self-doubt and inferiority. It can sound like: “What if I actually go train to be a pro athlete, and then fail miserably?”. It feels easier to sit curled up and dream of becoming a star athlete, than to face the very real possibility of failing. But I’ve learned along the way that action heals. Any action that requires you to sweat: psychologically, physically, mentally, in any way, really.
So the antidote is, undoubtedly, action. And it’s fundamental to note that talent, skill etc., are never linear. If you feel severely afraid or constrained in an activity, do something easier in the meanwhile. Something is always better than nothing. If you are terrified of speaking on stages or in front of large crowds, then switch it up to light networking, or making a new friend in every class. You will slowly get comfortable with talking to strangers, and that networking skill can ultimately transfer into public speaking. If you want to read more classical literature, but find it hard to focus and you keep slipping back to your Instagram brainrot, then maybe start with fast-paced fantasies that can improve your attention span and quicken your habit formation.Â
You are what you do. Our personality and our identities are the aggregate of the actions we repeat. When you show up for yourself, it is the greatest form of self-love. And once you get consistent with it, after struggling with discipline on and off for years, there comes a stage where the friction between you and your discomfort slowly dissolves. Going out there and actually doing stuff becomes a natural reflex. I am sure each one of us has had at least one skill where we feel so comfortable being out of our comfort zone, something we focused intensely on over the years and chiselled with care and effort. To transfer this ease and courage from one area we are used to being in into another, is where most of us struggle. And that is why you need to vouch for yourself. Become confident in your effort, not in your results. Because at the end of the day, even if you lose the game, you are winning in the greater scheme of things. You are ten times better than me, someone who is daydreaming in her bed at 11 am, not doing much at all.
In our inferiority-infused confusion, and in our discomfort of doing difficult things, we often tend to compare ourselves with experts or professionals. Which is, from a logical point of view, so utterly dumb. Most of us strive for perfection in the very first try, and then fall back to the valley of procrastination and stagnation once it doesn’t turn out the way we wanted it to. Who we need to compare ourselves to, is the version of us who was not doing anything right, who felt scared of starting, of creating, of learning. If you are alive and you are not learning, are you really living?
Betting on yourself is, in a way, similar to conservation. We practice sustainable actions for the generations to come, right? What if we work for our future selves too, so that they build the confidence to say: “Yes, I have potential, and I am always working on it”. Luck, fate, destiny; everything favours those who have the courage to get up and say “Yeah, I’ll do it”, before overthinking it a million times. This is also the most foolproof method to not be affected by external validation. As someone who can often struggle with criticism, the best solution is to have the ingrained knowing that I have been trying, and I have been showing up. The path of evolving into your ideal self is never-ending, and the secret is to keep walking, day after day.