College graduation is coming up and I feel like it is almost a rite of passage for college seniors to write a HC article about, well, being a college senior. So it would be wrong of me not to do so! As a college senior, I have a lot of things to think about. How am I going to get an internship? What am I going to do after graduation? Where will I live after graduation? Will I even graduate? It feels like literally anything could happen, and that in it of itself has been consuming me.
As a Junior, the future seemed so bright. I studied abroad, got my first internship, built a resumé and portfolio I was super proud of and made all of these plans for myself and my future. I never dealt with any type of anxiety about the future (thanks to years of therapy.) But now that said “future” is so close and I’m so lost, the future could not be any more terrifying. Now, with all of this new anxiety about the unknown, it feels like I’m going backwards in terms of all of the work I’ve done on myself. I find myself comparing myself to other students in my program more than I have. It feels like everyone is so much further along and more successful than me. The imposter syndrome is so real. The feeling of being behind, not belonging or just not being successful is something that a lot of college seniors in almost every major are probably struggling with currently.
I brought this anxiety I had up to my therapist. I unloaded all of my fears and worries onto him and he listened really well and he gave me really simple, yet helpful advice. He pointed out that it wasn’t fair to be comparing myself to other people in my program. Some of the people I tend to compare myself to are simply in a completely different situation than me. I don’t have the luxury to relocate for an internship and some people do, so why would I stress out about that? Does it suck? Yeah, but it’s out of my control and my therapist helped me focus on the things I can control. Another thing we talked about, which Olivia Rodrigo preached: their win is not my loss. Just because my peers are successful and qualified doesn’t mean I’m not! I have accomplished so much and have come so far, why try to negate that with my own anxiety?
One thing that I have to keep telling myself is that almost everyone is in the same position as me and is feeling similarly to me. I know that at this point in my life, everything is so uncertain and insecure, and anyone who has ever been in the same position would say the same thing. The nerves and the unknown are all a part of this chapter of my life and trying to look at it through a positive lens has really helped me. This stage of life will not last forever, which is ironically bittersweet.