In a time when female-to-female empowerment is riding high on social media platforms, in protests against injustice, and within our communities, trends are bound to appear. One such trend is the TikTok and Instagram sensation of ‘Girl Dinner’.
First created by Olivia Maher, various TikTok commenter’s have said that the idea of a ‘Girl Dinner’ is that it’s “both chaotic and filling”. In her New York Times article, Jessica Roy explains that ‘Girl Dinner’ is an “artfully arranged pile of snacks that […] constitutes a meal”. It is no wonder that this has become a viral trend. The satisfaction of the ‘Girl Dinner’ is that the meal is eaten when women are alone, specifically when their male partners aren’t around, and the food requires almost no preparation.
In her article, Jessica Roy eloquently explains that ‘Girl Dinner’ “represents a conscious choice to opt out of the tyranny of cooking and doing the dishes”. This refers to an expectation set about in the 50s and 60s especially, of a woman’s ‘role’ in society being almost entirely domestic. This “tyranny” is not felt by all women however; for many, cooking and doing dishes is no ‘tyranny’ at all, but rather a mode of creativity and pride.
This idea of women going against embedded gender norms of being expected to provide a full meal every night for their husbands is further examined by the art historian Seema Rao. Rao argues that women have gone from an individual’s womanhood being validated by the preparation of food to actually eating food themselves, which is a great step in the right direction for women.
However, as the trend has progressed, I fear that the idea of women sharing in a mutual love for eating random, easy to prepare meals has been diminished, and instead videos and posts are expressing and promoting unhealthy eating habits. Part of the reason that the ‘Girl Dinner’ trend can be dangerous is that it humourises dieting culture and, in the extreme cases, disordered eating. There is something comically tragic about the way in which women rebel against the social norms of cooking for a man by restricting their own food intake, further perpetuating negative eating habits.
When asking some of my female friends their opinion on the ‘Girl Dinner’ trend, they said although ‘Girl Dinner’ started out as a “funny and relatable” trend, it has grown into something that “perpetuates the idea that girls do not need to eat the same amount as boys, or that girls are able to be nourished by a tiny amount of food. An actual ‘Girl Dinner’ should be filling, nourishing and delicious”. The videos have been taken to an extent where “Girl Dinner was a glass of wine and cigarettes” which is a “really toxic” message to send out.
There are videos that can be extremely entertaining however, and it’s important to pick out the positives too. These humorous videos are, to me, often the ones that don’t have anything to do with food; for example when someone posts a video about a particularly hunky celebrity claiming that this is their ‘Girl Dinner’. It’s really encouraging to see women collaborating creatively on social media in this way. Reaching such a vast amount of people, social media is a wonderful tool to bring women together. Another trend that I find particularly relatable and entertaining is the idea of ‘Girl Math’. This trend examines the way in which women use a particular logic to justify paying for things. Almost all of the videos I have seen of this trend, I have been able to agree with, which is wonderfully absurd! I wouldn’t have had any idea that other women use this same, slightly random (or maybe not so random) logic. It makes me hopeful and grateful for our unity as women.
Alas, back to the matter at hand… For so long women have been trained to see food as an enemy, something that you have to fight off or pay for with excessive exercise or dieting. While I love trends like ‘Girl Dinner’ and their ability to pull women together and create an environment of unity, it’s also important to bear in mind the content that younger girls are seeing and learning from and how some of these videos can be damaging to their consciousness about nutrition and eating. If women are deliberately covering disordered eating or not eating at all – with the trend of ‘Girl Dinner’, this can be extremely harmful and misleading. For me, when I see a video of a ‘Girl Dinner’ that consists of a piece of cheese and a disposable vape for example, I immediately question the meals I eat in a day, despite the fact that I know I need the nutrients to keep strong and fit.
‘Girl Dinner’ has taken the internet by storm; starting as an enlightening, light-hearted and relatable trend, it has developed into something which perhaps undermines its positivity and discreetly promotes unhealthy eating habits amongst women. There’s a lot to unpack in terms of the negative gender stereotypes towards women within the sensation of ‘Girl Dinner’, (even though these stereotypes are being emphasised by women themselves) but there are also a lot of positives too. It’s wonderful that we can be a part of a creative community where we can share our ideas and opinions, and we should keep on supporting one another and collaborating together to further our passion and effort for the change of many decade old stereotypes.
EATING DISORDER: If you or someone you know has an eating disorder and needs help, call this number 0808 801 0677 for England and 0808 801 0433 for Wales, or visit this website – beateatingdisorders.org.uk – for more information and advice on eating disorders, and a supportive online community.