For those unaware, the term “cuffing season” refers to a time frame during the fall and winter seasons. Cuffing season begins late October (just before/ around Halloween time), then ends just after Valentine’s Day. Perhaps you notice that between October and February, it seems like your social media feed is flooded with couples, but come springtime, there are usually fewer posts.
This time frame holds the prominent holidays that couples want to experience, and a time when young people may “jump into relationships” just to have someone for the holidays. Meaning, couples costumes for Halloween, someone to talk about at Thanksgiving dinner, someone to bring home for Christmas, someone to kiss on New Year, a Valentine for February, and between all of this, there will always be someone to cuddle with when the weather turns cold. Between these holidays, there are a lot of seasonal pictures–couples ice-skating, coffee dates, Valentine’s dinner dates–that can make you feel a little alone if it seems like you’re the only one not coupling up. Well, as cuffing season comes to a close, I have news for you: you’re not alone!
Coupled with a very common seasonal depression this time of year, relationship FOMO can be hard! During this time of year, take some time to recognize what you’re feeling. Regardless of your relationship status or mental health, either can be a great reason to get into a new self-care practice. If you’re interested, read on and I’ll give you some tips.
You aren’t alone, but neither are they
It’s hard to accept the reality that people feel just as you feel. I often think to myself, “no one talks about ____, they seem fine and always in a good mood,” meanwhile, that’s hardly the case. If you’re silent about a feeling, perhaps they’re silent too. Reach out to that friend that you haven’t talked to in a few weeks. Ask them if they’d want to catch up and get lunch. Ask them how they’ve been doing, maybe you’ll both share how you’ve been and become a support system for each other.
On another note, if you feel how I felt last winter, maybe you don’t feel like you have any friends to reach out to. Trust me, there’s more out there. Message the girl with the pretty Instagram feed or the girl with the Snapchat story that seems like her life is all together. Share that you admire them, maybe even bond over why you admire them, maybe talk about becoming friends. The cool thing about growing up is realizing that everyone has felt low at some point, and if you feel some type of way, it’s fair to say that others have felt the same.
Ever tried journaling?
This definitely sounds like some new-age, spiritual thing that you’ve no doubt already heard, but I’m serious. Journaling can help! You don’t even have to buy a journal, you could honestly just write down thoughts on paper. Write down pieces of gratitude from your day, and after that, write down something you’re working on, something you’re proud of, write about something that’s bothering you. I use this technique to get my thoughts on paper, to relax, and to feel like I have control over the energy coming my way.
Stretch every morning
This one is a hard one to keep with, but it’s kinda my New Years’ resolution. Stretch your arms above your head. Try some sun salutations. Stretch your legs. Take some deep breaths. It really sets the tone for your day.
Bubble baths!
I think the typical image people have of self-care is a bubble bath and reading a book, but there’s a reason this image exists: it’s good self-care! Carving out some time for a bubble bath and reading a good book can be so relaxing. Consider lighting some candles or doing a facemask to give the experience a more relaxed vibe. Whatever you do, take time to make this moment your own. Move slowly and don’t rush it.
Make some tea (or spill tea)
When my girls and I are stressed, we get together for a coffee or tea date at a local cafe. After being overwhelmed with the pressures of school and life, it helps us destress to go out and drink tea while we gossip a little.
Start a new series
Self-care doesn’t always have to look a certain way. If you feel like you want to watch that new show everyone’s posting about, go do it! I think the societal pressure to “binge-watch” a show might make us feel like we need to have a whole week of free time to invest in a new series, but that’s not the case! If you have a show you want to watch, carve out 40 minutes of your day just to watch one episode every day after classes or between classes. Making time for something new can also count as self-care.
Sit in silence for 5 minutes a day
I feel like when people talk about self-care these days, everyone always gives the advice to meditate. Meditating is kind of a hard practice to get into, and it’s even harder to maintain. Personally, I struggle with sitting down my inquiring mind for so long every day. Meditating is fantastic for your mental health, but not everyone finds that it’s meant for them. That’s okay! I will say though, sitting it in silence without any music, screens, or anyone talking, can also ease your mind.
Think of it this way: on average, we’re surrounded by screens for 10+ hours a day—phones, computers, iPad’s, televisions—screen time has become such a common part of our lives. It’s rare that I find myself sitting in a room without the background noise of a television show, a podcast, or a music playlist. Just for five minutes today try putting those things down and just sitting in silence.