A freshman year start: the goalpost has moved and four years are left. A new living arrangement with someone you barely know, classes youâll need to study for, and a newfound zeal for social fulfillment begins to brim on the horizon. You sure have a lot to overcome. Do you think you can?
Freshman-year me was, to say the least, naive. After a prestigious high school that worked me to the bone, I was prepared to finally take a break. Little did I know that such a âbreakâ was nearly as slim as the dining hall food. Not knowing my place had me grasping at every corner for belonging, a vital component of collegeâs social fabric thatâs often missed if you donât try. You can attend every club, presentation, and reading group, but without trying, youâll miss the collective verve that keeps you there. Eventually, your bed becomes your coffin and a negative feedback loop begins. Isolation breeds stagnation, missed lectures compound the guilt and motivation dwindles further.
Eventually, that carelessness sums up to a failed introductory class, one required for your major. Now, youâre on academic probation, with barely any friends to cushion the failure. Your remaining three years are calling, but youâre stuck inside with only a windowpane between you and your future. Hereâs how I broke through, and how you can, too.
The Love of Locking In
Libraries, study dates and coffee are gonna be your main friends. College is hard! Youâre stuffed into a colorful, sweaty bag of students from across the world, many brilliant and already accomplished. Imposter syndrome doesnât fizzle with time, it fizzles with work. Eventually, where you started matters less than how you got there. Some geniuses seem to grasp material after a single lecture, but what defines you is your work ethic. Start running and youâll find yourself catching up. That rewarding feeling becomes its own beacon of motivation.
The Love of Going Out (And Being Lonely)
Letâs get one thing straight: you do not need friends to go out. In fact, going out alone is how you make them! Some of my best thrift finds, food and coffee pictures (and best friends!) came from being by myself. Donât let the threat of loneliness tether you to an even lonelier outcome. Find events in your major, explore your interests and seek out communities working toward something meaningful. Once you do have friends, going out becomes even more rewarding. After a week of hard work, I often find myself wondering: âHow can I make memories?â
The Love of Finding Yourself
This stage is cumulative. Once youâve established a routine of working hard and playing harder, finding yourself becomes easier. Freshman-year me had no idea who Iâd become. Three months into senior year, I know exactly who I am. I discovered computational sociolinguistics by locking into my coursework sophomore year. Junior year brought new favorite foods, drinks and thrifted pieces that now define my style.
Ultimately, you have to push yourself. But it neednât begin as a marathon. A saunter becomes a walk, a walk a sprint and a sprint a thousand-mile race. There is always a finish line, all that matters is waving that flag and crossing the start. I love running at life, and you should, too.
