Hey girl. You probably clicked on this article because the title says it is a letter to someone struggling to love themselves, and you’re most likely dealing with this yourself. Well, I have some words to say to you —you’re amazing, and here’s how you can learn to see that.
As women, we all face intense pressure to be “perfect”—whatever that means. To some people, that may be a certain body type, how smooth your hair is, how white your teeth are, how tan you are, or whether you are even a “real” woman. The list goes on into oblivion. But here’s the thing, these are social constructs that are NOT based on reality. Being beautiful and perfect starts with tearing these standards down and making your own definition of beauty.
In order to begin to feel beautiful, you have to start with the question, “Am I comfortable with the way I am taking care of myself?” The answer to this will be different for everyone. To some girls it means they go to the gym every day, to others, it may mean they take time out of each week to relax. Some take care of themselves by eat healthy and some enjoy indulging occasionally in treats. The bottom line is, you do whatever makes YOU feel comfortable and satisfied.
Once you begin working on yourself and what you want, then you begin to value yourself more. Making yourself happy is YOUR responsibility and it’s all for YOU. Leave everyone else out of the equation. You start and end each day, with you and only yourself. You have to make yourself and self-care a priority.
Now that you are paying attention to your body and doing what is right for you, take the things you do not like about yourself and try to envision them in a new light. There will always be things that we cannot change. These are the things we need to learn to embrace. These are the things that scream, I am a real woman, flaws and all! Real, beautiful women have body’s that are all unique in their own way. Your flaws are your body’s way of saying, “Here I am, this is me.”
We are all unique and special in our own way. Our differences are what makes every individual woman you meet interesting. All women, black, white, trans, bisexual, tall, short, skinny, curvy —you name it — have a unique trait that distinguishes them and makes them special. Embrace your individualities and your imperfections because that is exactly what makes you perfectly you.
Learning to love these things takes time. It will not happen overnight. The most important thing is to persevere. When you are feeling down on yourself and you are feeling that self-hate welling up inside of you, just take a moment and ground yourself. These thoughts are not reality. You are not ugly, you are not fat, you are not wrongfully imperfect. You are in control of your life and your body. Do what makes you feel healthy and happy. Do not let a fashion magazine or celebrity make you feel as though your health and happiness are not good enough — screw them.
You are a strong woman and no one can take that away from you.