An Open Letter to Girls Who Are Failing to Love Themselves

We’ve all been there. We look in the mirror and don’t like the reflection. We look at our transcript and curse ourselves for not working harder. We go through a breakup and think we don’t deserve to be loved again. We make one mistake and feel like we are not competent to do anything else in life. We all have high expectations for ourselves, but what we often times forget is that reaching those expectations is a process.

Related: How You Can Practice Self-Love

We must remember to not torment ourselves for the way we are on the journey to reach our goals. I have seen too many girls around me, myself included, who despise themselves for not being their ideal self. They hate that they aren’t at the end of the journey where everything is supposed to be perfect.

According to the Dove Global Beauty and Confidence report, 4 out 5 women have low self-esteem. Not being able to accept and love who you are is a proven, worldwide crisis. It is especially prevalent among college women. Not only are we at the age where we are most vulnerable, but it is also very easy to start comparing yourself to the people around you. Whether it is social media or simply seeing your friends thrive in the way you aspire to, these factors have the potential to produce negativity and a toxic environment.

Related: This Semester Has Showed Me Self-Love and Patience

I know it’s easier said than done, but we must learn to appreciate ourselves with our whole heart in the midst of this chaos. If we don’t start valuing and appreciating ourselves, others won’t value us as much as we deserve in return.

To the collegiette reading this,

Right now, I know it is hard to believe the words you are about to read. I know you’ve heard the phrase “love yourself” many times and decided to ignore it. I know you’re going through a phase of self-doubt. I know you don’t feel your best. I know you aim to be much more than what you are now. But guess what, you’re pretty amazing in this very moment! Just because you want to be different in the future doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself now. I feel like one of the reasons self-love is so difficult is because you know yourself more than anyone. You know about your flaws, insecurities, and fears. For some reason, you choose to zoom in on those few flaws instead of all of your amazing qualities. Stop that. Please move beyond this to see what a gift you are to the universe. Irrespective of size, shape, color, you’re beautiful inside and out. You have something to offer to the world. You have a perspective that is unique to you. You have a presence in the world that only you can provide. There is no need for you to aspire to be anything but yourself! You are loved by so many and have an impact on more people than you can imagine. Be proud of yourself for making it this far, collegiette!