As an aspiring filmmaker, I’ve spent the last three years of college learning more about the process of filmmaking, working on film sets and morphing into an informed and well-crafted creative being. I enjoyed every moment I spent in the arts, thriving among like-minded individuals who were motivated by art and its power. We were creatives. It is undeniable that being labeled “creative” sparks tons of opportunities, and welcomes one into uplifting and gratifying moments. Through film, I have found myself in positions of excellence that I never thought I would achieve so early on. I was challenged and taught the beauty of it all – the beauty of art. Even so, just like any other passion in life, no matter how happy you are, there will always come times where your happiness and contentment will be challenged. Yet, in spite of this knowledge, this is what I dread the most.
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“Writer’s block,” “a dead end,” “a mental block” or simply the “lack of inspiration.” These are some of the phrases I always hear from hallway conversations among art students. Fortunately, I have not had my fair share of creative blocks during my time in college, as I spent most of it consumed by mental breakdowns. So when I entered my senior year, a time I have always been waiting for, I somehow found myself under a gray cloud of negativity, turmoil and helplessness. I soon realized that the creative blocks had arrived, three years late, but stronger than ever.
Until recently, however, what I realized was that I was not in a state of creative absence, but more so in a state of fear, dread and exhaustion – creative anxiety.
After going through an exhilarating semester filled with awards, recognitions and opportunities in film, I spent my summer immediately diving into a research project and film, traveling abroad for the majority of its production and remaining abroad for the rest of the year in hopes of completing my thesis film. Now, four months later, it seems that the pressure of performing as a young female director, who in all honesty, barely knows what she’s doing, has reached a paralyzing point of being unable to even think of her thesis film.
Looking into it, I found that I was tired and paralyzed by the thought of having to live up to people’s expectations, satisfying criteria, making the most out of the opportunity (without driving myself crazy), making a kick-ass thesis film, influencing change, living up to industry standards and there was simply too much weighing down on my creativity. After being on a complete high, I was now merely a spark that, slowly losing its shine.
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Through this process of realization, I stumbled upon a few ways to overcome creative anxiety especially since I realized that I was nearing the end of the semester, which meant that I was two months in to traveling back home and wrapping up production (a production I haven’t even started). So, to help myself and you, I have compiled a list of ways to overcome creative anxiety:
1. Rest.
We all overlook the power of rest, but in this situation rest holds the most power for clearing your mind, claiming your mindset and nurturing your overall well-being back into shape is what will help you increase creativity and freedom. Whether this means going on an extended vacation, cooking, or sleeping for 12 hours, give yourself the rest that your body craves and has been craving.
2. Forgive yourself and lower your expectations of yourself.
One of the main reasons why we are presented with creative anxiety is because of the fear built up inside, impeding our ability to further our creative ideas and endeavors. To do so, you must stop being hard on yourself. Own up to what you can do and what you can’t do given your resources or circumstances. There is no need to push yourself to the limit simply because of a relentless need to succeed more than what you already have done. Doing so will not only free you of emotional guilt, but it will also release you from the paralyzing ropes of fear that keep you from doing what needs to be done.
3. Give yourself credit.
Alongside forgiving yourself is to give yourself credit for everything that you have achieved and everything you have gone through so far. We all live in a begrudgingly fast environment to the extent that we are sometimes unable to fully appreciate ourselves for the things we do. Because as soon as we achieve something, we are onto the next, and to the next, and so on. Thank yourself, appreciate yourself and love yourself.
4. Remind yourself of why you enjoy what you do.
Go back to the drawing board and start with a clean slate. Sometimes, we may find ourselves uninterested or even hating what we used to enjoy. This is usually the sign of excessiveness and frustration that has built up because of the ongoing cycle of creativity. Go back to the past and remind yourself of why you do what you do and why you enjoy it.
5. Slowly get back up on your feet.
After everything, instead of quickly going back to your routine and risking the chance of stressing yourself out, you should slowly work your way to it. Whatever it may be, remind yourself of all the things you realized in the process of getting rid of creative anxiety. Teach yourself to be kind to your mind and body, by embracing the slow process back toward progress.
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As I try to rapidly incorporate these practices into my life, I hope that my experiences serve as a lesson to you, my fellow collegiettes. Remember that no matter how uplifting that next achievement is going to be, consider taking a breather before diving back into the path that you pave for yourself.