I didn’t wake up on a Sunday morning planning to learn how to escape a chokehold. But when my roommate asked if I wanted to go with her to a Women’s Self-Defense Seminar hosted by Gracie Jiu-Jitsu Phoenix, I said yes almost immediately. Her dad had seen the seminar online and thought it would be fun, and since it was free, relatively close to GCU (about a 30-minute drive), and early enough to still have the rest of the day ahead of us, it felt like an easy yes. At the very least, it would be low-key roommate bonding. At most, we’d learn something useful.
It ended up being both.
Walking Onto the Mat
The seminar ran from 9 to 11:30 a.m. and was titled simply: Women’s Self-Defense Seminar. When we walked in, the first thing I noticed was the range of women there. The group included middle school and high school girls, a few college students like us, and many middle-aged to older women. Some participants were already enrolled in the program, identifiable by their pink rash guards and white belts, while others, like me, were complete beginners.
We all sat barefoot in a circle on the mat as the class began, and for a brief moment, it felt a little like an adult gymnastics class. Slightly awkward, everyone adjusting, talking, and trying to get comfortable.
Understanding the “Why”
The instructor, Adam, started the seminar by explaining what Gracie Jiu-Jitsu actually is and why it is particularly effective for women’s self-defense. Unlike many forms of martial arts that rely heavily on strength, speed, or height, Gracie Jiu-Jitsu focuses on leverage, positioning, and conserving energy. The goal is to gain the upper hand against a larger, stronger opponent using technique rather than overexerting force.
As someone who is neither tall nor physically strong, that explanation immediately mattered to me. Learning how to defend yourself can feel intimidating when most self-defense narratives center on physical power. This approach felt different, and much more applicable.
Before we moved on to physical practice, Adam also took time to talk about safety, consent, and emotional responses. He made it explicitly clear that the purpose of the class was not to re-traumatize or overwhelm anyone, but to help women feel safer and more confident in their bodies. If anyone needed a break, stepped away, or chose not to participate in a certain movement, that was respected without question. He enunciated over and over again that you did not have to do anything you did not want to.
That mattered more than I expected.
The Reality of the Techniques
When we did begin practicing techniques (after learning how to base ourselves, of course)…
- Base is the foundational, stable platform that allows a practitioner to maintain balance, control, and efficiency, enabling them to effectively apply or absorb force without falling. It involves keeping a low center of gravity, a wide stance, and proper, aligned posture—whether on the feet or the ground—to maximize control and minimize effort.
…the scenarios were intentionally realistic. We worked through situations involving wrist grabs, hands around the neck, being pushed against a wall, and being taken to the ground. These movements were designed to mirror real-world assault scenarios.
Adam also emphasized that some women in the room were likely survivors, and that some of these positions could be triggering, given the amount of physical contact involved. He shared that more than one in four women experience sexual assault before the age of 25, with nearly half of those assaults occurring before age 18. Women ages 18 to 24 face rates of sexual violence three times higher than women in general, particularly on college campuses, and more than 50 percent of all sexual assault victims are under 25.
Rather than pushing anyone past their comfort level, the emphasis still remained on awareness and choice, allowing women to step back, ask questions or simply observe. Still, most of the group chose to stay on the mat for the entirety of the seminar. I think the willingness of some women that likely chose to stay present rather than step aside (even if they were a little uncomfortable) was one of the most powerful parts of the experience.
Walking out Changed
By the time the seminar wrapped up, I left with a few bruises and a body that clearly felt put to work. What surprised me most was how much fun I had throughout the process. The class was physically demanding and emotionally present, but it never felt intimidating or discouraging—even for someone who usually avoids workouts altogether.
I didn’t leave feeling fearless or invincible, but I did walk away with a calmer, more grounded confidence. Learning techniques that focus on awareness, control and working with your body—not overpowering someone—reframed what strength can look like. It was empowering to realize that effective self-defense isn’t reserved for the strongest person in the room, but accessible to anyone willing to learn.
Sharing the experience with my roommate made it even better. We pushed ourselves, laughed through the awkward moments and talked through what we learned afterward. What could have felt unfamiliar instead became genuinely enjoyable, and we both walked away having learned a lot about self-defense and our own capabilities.
Looking back, what stands out most is the environment the seminar created. It allowed space for discomfort, reflection and growth without pressure, reminding me that confidence often comes from showing up for new experiences, even when they feel outside your comfort zone.
I’ll be going back at some point, without a doubt. And if you’ve ever been curious, I’d encourage you to try it too!