I am a quitter. It may not seem like an admirable trait, but in the name of my peace, it is.
As people, we seem coerced at times to stay in situations that don’t fit our lives or serve any positive purpose for the sake of obligation. It seems as though humans are bound by suffocating quantities of unspoken societal obligations. At an early age, we’re taught to hold discomfort or “stick it out” in hopes for a better future or just because that’s how it has always been. To this, I simply ask, why?
If you tried to drill a nail into a piece of wood and it kept breaking the pieces of wood, would you go through the entire box of nails because you bought them anyway, or would you shelve the nails away or find a new home for them? Realistically, how long would you be willing to force something that isn’t working into working? Could you will it into changing, or would you have to go out and get a new piece of wood?
Although I may not be a carpenter, I am a proponent of not forcing situations to work out for me. I don’t think that life is as simple as the given example at most times, but I do think that we are socially educated to cling to things that only serve as obstacles or do not benefit us beyond obligation. The reality is, we only have an obligation to do right by ourselves.
At some undisclosed point in my life, I worked for someone doing something I truly enjoyed. I went through the whole interview process, met the team and made connections very quickly. However, I would soon find out the reason why such a tremendous position would be empty. Sh*t hit the fan after I felt comfortable in my position and I was really affected by it. I would show up and do what I had to, but it felt almost robotic. I lost that joy and I was truly only there because I had to be. I tried to re-create it in my work and in my connections, but again, the facade had cracked and left fractures in its’ ruin that ran deep as chasms.
I had a eureka moment when I mysteriously went missing halfway through the day once and felt very much at peace (author’s note: don’t copy this action). I realized that I didn’t have to be miserable, and as much as I needed this position, I also needed my head and heart to be at peace. On my drive to do some retail therapy, I wrote my resignation letter in my head and I quickly sent it as an email when I parked.
Did I blindside a lot of people? Yes.
Did it hurt the team? Maybe in the short run, but they immediately replaced me (like, freakishly fast).
Was I okay with that? Yes!
The night I sent that email, I got myself some sweet treats and slept like a baby. For the first time in a while, I didn’t wake up to any demanding emails or passive-aggressive group chat messages. I didn’t have to see anyone I didn’t want to. I gained some control over my life that I felt I had lost being subject to a catastrophically put-together team.
Now, the actions detailed above may not be advisable by most, but the predicament behind them is one I’ve found myself in too many times. Sometimes things just aren’t meant to be for us, and no amount of forcing, bending or redirecting your emotions can fix it. Instead of spending your time and emotional labor on something fractured beyond repair, reinvest it in yourself. The one overarching lesson in all of my quits has been that once I’ve quit, I realized how much time I was wasting on watering dead plants. The energy that is spent on trying to fix something should instead be focused on us, and on finding or creating better for ourselves. As for that one example, I had to find a new position shortly after, but it was worth it. I would quit a million times if it meant I got to keep my peace.
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