Your Energy Is Expensive is my space to unpack what it really means to protect your peace. Inspired by my own experiences with toxic people, environments, and poor mental health, this column explores how to honor your feelings, nurture healthy connections, and find joy in the small moments. I’ll share lessons I’ve learned through these experiences. Along the way, I’ll recommend songs that helped me through hard days, hoping they might bring you comfort. At its core, this column is about valuing your energy, choosing where it goes, and creating space for the things that make you feel whole.
College is stressful. Between classes, jobs, extracurriculars, and adjusting to a new phase of life, the pressure of it all can really take a toll. These stressors can sometimes open the door for mental health challenges, such as depression.
Depression symptoms can be difficult to deal with when the pressures of life seem like they’re more important than your feelings.
I’ve faced this same issue, and in my experience, depression symptoms can disguise themselves as low motivation or just plain exhaustion. I didn’t fully realize how much it was affecting me until I took a step back. Learning to recognize and respect my feelings was the first step toward feeling better, because if symptoms are ignored, the problem will persist.
Recognize Your Feelings
Depression doesn’t look the same for everyone. It can show up in ways you may not immediately connect to your mental health: constant tiredness, irritability, lack of focus, or even just feeling “off” all the time.
For me, the song “Funeral” by Phoebe Bridgers captured that feeling perfectly. When you’re depressed, either unaware of it or ignoring it, life can feel unbearably heavy. I felt helpless and sad constantly, like life was weighing me down.
That is, until I recognized my feelings and put them into perspective. This can look many different ways for many different people, but for me, it happened when my dad lost his job and we had to move. In the moment, it felt like my entire world was being uprooted, but it also forced me to step back and see that the heaviness I’d been carrying was the accumulation of feelings I hadn’t allowed myself to process, finally surfacing.
This process wasn’t easy. It took time, honesty, and a lot of uncomfortable self-reflection. Once I admitted to myself what I was going through, I was able to take steps toward getting the help I needed.
Reach Out
One of the most important parts of my journey, after recognizing my feelings, was reaching out for support. FSU’s Counseling Center connected me with a therapist who helped me better understand my feelings, validated what I was experiencing, and gave me tools to manage stress without burning myself out.
If that feels too intimidating, try reaching out to your family and friends first. I feel as if sometimes, depression can trick you into believing that you and your feelings inconvenience your friends and family. In my experience, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Taking the step to connect made me realize that the people closest to you want to help you, but they can only do that if you let them in.
Give Yourself Grace
Healing isn’t linear, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Some days are better than others, and that’s perfectly okay. I’ve had to remind myself to trust the process, but also to trust my energy levels. Sometimes, I’ve found the most productive thing you can do is to allow yourself to rest.
Your energy is valuable, and it shouldn’t be wasted on things that drain you without giving anything back.
For a long time, I was spending all my energy on my depression, which left me unable to see the blessings right in front of me: good friends, supportive family, and a community that wanted to see me thrive. Once I started giving myself grace and allowing myself to just be, I felt lighter, even on bad days.
As cheesy as it sounds, it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to slow down, to admit you’re struggling, and to take the time you need to heal. Recognizing your feelings, reaching out for support, and being gentle with yourself won’t make everything magically better overnight, but they can be the first steps toward truly feeling like yourself again.
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If you or someone you know is seeking help for mental health concerns, visit the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) website, or call 1-800-950-NAMI(6264). For confidential treatment referrals, visit the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) website, or call the National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP(4357). In an emergency, contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK(8255) or call 911.