This year has probably been the hardest that I have struggled with body issues. This ranges from body image issues that have me in my head so much from comparisons to my peers of how I should be. I get that we all have different body types, and our bodies react differently due to our varying lifestyles but I honestly feel stuck. Can you relate?
Lately, I find myself more and more in my head about how people see me. It ranges from school to social life settings. One part of me sees it as I feel like I don’t belong because I’m the bigger individual in the cohort of Food Science and Nutrition majors and another part of me feels like I am the walking contradiction because I look like I don’t “practice what I preach.” When I see a lot of people being so incredibly active from hiking to running long distances I get discouraged because the majority of the time I get so out of breath from going up the stairs or trying to go on what I feel like is a long walk. From the social side of it, it can be difficult when going out with my boyfriend and sometimes being around his friends because again, I’m the biggest individual. I get in my head so much sometimes that I feel like I’m not only letting myself down but also my boyfriend because changes aren’t happening fast enough with my body like I want them to.
In today’s world of social media, it makes it even harder to love yourself because you have every so-called influencer in the world telling you what you should be. If you’re not, well then consider yourself not the fit and skinny crew. I try to keep my positive thinking as much as I can and block out the negative energy from social media, but that is easier said than done sometimes. My wish is we could sensor the negativity that we put on body types and normalize that everyone is on a journey, and they are all different.
I know with what I am personally dealing with it is a definite work in progress. It can’t be an overnight fix as much as I want it to be. I hope we can normalize that health is different for everyone as well too. Different body types have different needs. I wish there was a way to help individuals like me from stopping the hyper-focus on looking like others when I need to just focus on looking like myself. As for now, it is a work in progress and I hope to have put in the effort and work that I strive towards.