This semester has flown by, and the reason for me at least is that I have been on autopilot. Taking 18 credits has made me unable to do anything except for the bare minimum in every single aspect of my life, and it took a major life change to make me realize this. After my three-year relationship ended, I made it my goal to be more intentional with my actions and force myself to be in the moment as opposed to living in the future or just getting by.
Sometimes it takes a traumatic experience to snap you out of your habits. When I realized that I woke up and it was already October, I knew something needed to change. I had been in denial that the semester was happening and the days were passing, but it was the truth and no amount of denial can stop time. I began to force myself to look for little things that brought me joy each day. It started out small, like enjoying the latte art the barista made on my coffee, but making that a habit has made me realize how grateful I am to be here and be alive and experience life as it comes.
I also tried as hard as I could to put in as much intentional work into assignments as I could muster, which up until this week (two weeks before finals) I haven’t fully committed to. I made sure that I wasn’t just doing the bare minimum to get by, but that I was doing my best and completing what was going to help me in the long run. This took dedication and reorganizing my schedule in order to fully accomplish this.
I wanted to instill these habits in myself coming up on the new decade because sometimes life gives you what you need and that doesn’t always come on “magical” January first. In order to make 2020 about me, I knew I needed to better myself and begin that self-work when I knew it needed to be done, instead of waiting for Monday or waiting for the new year to tell me it’s my time.
My advice would be to take the signs from the universe as blessings and do what you feel is right for yourself. Don’t feel like you have to change yourself, but if that’s the message that you’re getting, try it out and see how it improves your life. I am much better off in the two months since I have started doing this because I feel like I am actually alive and not living my life on autopilot.
Good luck and let life bring you wellness and self-care to 2020!