As a little kid, you exist with constant wonder and instinctive self-assuredness, largely unaware of the judgmental and messy world around you. As your teen years creep up on you, it’s no secret that “coming of age” is notoriously perilous; You’re hyper-aware of these external factors, weathered and aimless as far as navigating your sense of self and interpersonal relationships (although you’re likely your own harshest critic). However, as you come out on the other side of it, you’ll find that you are still made of the best defining qualities that you’ve always had. In my daily life and especially when I’m feeling lost, I find myself looking to the things that made me “me” throughout my childhood. This includes the adornments of my room, music, and hobbies, as well as my friendships that hold on to this quality, too. You can never quite shake the kid that you’ve always been, and from my experience, it’s so much more rewarding to embrace and foster those qualities rather than shutting them out.
Personal SpAce
I’m of the opinion that how you decorate your personal spaces has a significant impact on your mentality and sense of self. With this in mind, filling your spaces with the things you enjoy is a constant and subconscious reminder that you are a collage of everything you love. This especially includes aspects from your childhood. I have wall decor in my room of some of my favorite movies and artists from my childhood (shoutout to Ponyo, Twilight, Taylor Swift, and Michael Jackson). I’m also a sucker for trinkets, so I love sitting out my favorite old Littlest Pet Shops on my desk, and having a wicker bin of my favorite stuffed animals on display. I love seeing these elements juxtaposed with the interests and accomplishments I have today that embellish my room right beside them, surrounded by
pictures of my family and friends. Creating a personal space that is truly lived in and reflects the things I loved as a kid (that I still love today) makes me feel confident in myself and comfortable in my own skin, from the moment I wake up to them to the moment I lay back down beneath them at the end of the day.
Music
The music you listen to is the soundtrack of your life, and it can hold endless memories and meaning. Music is one of the main elements that helps me feel grounded, especially when listening to staple songs from my childhood. For me, one of the most significant artists is the English alternative rock band Keane. I was listening to their tracks in utero, and their albums “Hopes and Fears” and “Under the Iron Sea” were the very first music I bought on iTunes in middle school. As a kid, they filled car rides with my mom; As I’ve grown, they’ve been the soundtrack of my bus rides, road trips, and even first flights abroad. They have carried me through all stages of life thus far, and the meanings of some of my favorite songs have grown with me as I experience more and more. When I’m feeling incredibly lost, playing these albums from my childhood invokes an innate reminder of where I come from, who I am, and the things I value and want out of my life.
Hobbies
Another one of my favorite ways to foster the girl I’ve been since childhood is by indulging in hobbies I adored when I was younger, but fell out of habit with as life got busier. A big one for me is creative writing. In elementary school, I can’t count how many notebooks I went through from writing fantasy stories. I would read them to my teachers, family, and friends, and then immediately begin writing my next one. It was a huge outlet for me, pouring my mind out onto the page and creating a whole new world. In middle and high school, I stopped writing creatively. When I got to college, I decided that I wanted to revisit this passion, which had frankly never really left. I will graduate with a certificate in creative writing, and this is one of the best decisions I made. I’ve found that poetry in particular provides an outlet for me that reignites the love I had for writing as a kid. Exploring hobbies you had as a kid can prove to be extremely therapeutic and grounding activities, whether it’s writing, painting, playing an instrument, or even building Legos.
Friendship
Last (although arguably most important) is finding friendships with people who share a similar mentality and don’t shy away from loving the things that made them who they are, no matter how goofy or awkward. When you know yourself and are comfortable in your own skin, you’ll find yourself in the vicinity of the same kind of people. In high school, my best friend and I bonded a lot over rewatching Nickelodeon’s “Avatar: The Last Airbender”. It became a routine, allowing so many inside jokes and funny memories to form. It reminded me of when I watched the same show with my dad as a kid, and created a comfortable and familiar space, especially when I felt down or lost. It also fostered a lifelong friendship centered around humor, honesty, and comfort. My friendships in college are no different; my best friend, whom I met freshman year, and I have bonded endlessly over the things we continue to love from our childhood, just as much as over the awkward (yet very similar) stages of life that we experienced before we knew each other. Our apartment is embellished with posters, magnets, and trinkets that reflect this, including My Neighbor Totoro, Snoopy, and Zayn Malik (our One Direction bias). Finding friendships like this is the key to surrounding yourself with peers that make you feel confident, funny, strong, and optimistic. You see each other for who you are and build each other up through genuine understanding.
Reflection
During your childhood is generally when you experience being the most carefree and unapologetically yourself, so tapping into the things you were passionate about at this stage of life is a great way to find direction and a sense of self. I feel the most confident and like myself by simply embracing these younger versions of me. As much as you can evolve and change into a completely different person over time, these past selves still live within you, helping you grow. It keeps your life full of “whimsy”, along with a childlike sense of excitement and humor. There is also something to be said for the genuine, exciting friendships that will come your way when you know who you are and flaunt the things that made you who you are today.