College can be a lonely place, especially post breakup. After a year and a few months with my partner, I got dumped on Valentine’s Day. Although it was definitely not one of my proudest moments, it was something to learn from.
We broke up because he felt I wasn’t “happy” anymore. I thought it was seasonal depression until it continued into the spring, and then the summer. I knew I needed to do something about my blues so here is a list of things that have helped me get out of my funk.
1: I surrounded myself with people that cared about me
Even though this seems like a no-brainer, I tend to push people away when I’m sad. It’s difficult to realize how your tendencies are affecting the people around you. After the breakup I said “yes” to every opportunity I could to not be alone.
2: I got back into painting
Creating has always been a vital part of my happiness. Painting has always been there for me to express my emotions and to take my mind away from whatever stress is going on in my life. As the famous painter Georgia O’Keeffe said, “I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for.”
3: I got a betta fish
Taking care of a living creature made me take care of myself. My betta fish, Swimmy Buffett, helps me get out of bed in the morning and always is there to greet me after a long day. Being accountable for the life of a happy little creature gave me an extra boost of happiness to get me through a long day of classes or a tough shift at work.
4: I listened to some great playlists
Music can change your mood almost instantly. From Janis Joplin to Kehlani, it is important to have music for every single emotion you could possibly express. My personal favorite is Jessie Reyez because her vocals are STUNNING and her music is packed with emotion.
5: I started appreciating myself instead of putting myself down
After dealing with a breakup that was “my fault” it was hard to build myself back up. I thought I was broken because I didn’t know how to feel anymore. I blamed the breakup on my looks, my lack of empathy, my style, and everything else under the sun. A few months after the breakup I realized that pushing away emotions was what I did to cope. It took time for me to validate my (lack of) emotions and to accept myself for who I am.
The main thing I have learned from this experience is that sometimes things don’t work out and that’s ok. The most important thing to remember is to take care of yourself and to appreciate you for all you’ve done to be a better you. As Marylin Monroe once said, “sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”