I’ve always had this vision for what my life would be. Sometimes it’s so close I can taste it, I feel like I’m already living it. Other times it feels like a hazy, delusional dream. Most days it’s somewhere in-between. Sophomore year of college has been the most transformative time of my life (so far). Last September I realized that while freshman year had been the time to find my footing and acclimate, this upcoming second year was my time to adapt and thrive. In order to do this, which, to be candid, is still a major work in progress, I needed to make some changes in my life. Here are the habits that have helped me turn into my favorite version of myself (…so far).Ā
Protect Your Peace
Iām sure youāve heard this phrase everywhere online, but I want to add my own perspective. This doesnāt mean stay in and bed rot! In fact, you should be saying āyesā more than ever. What matters is what youāre saying yes to. Filling your life with connection that fuels you is the key. For me, this included editing who has constant access to me, making plans that align with my vision for my early-twenties, and turning inward at the beginning and end of every day. This can come in the form of journaling, meditation, a long walk with nothing but your thoughts to entertain your mindā¦ dealerās choice.
When you know who you are, nobody can decide for you. When you trust yourself, it doesnāt matter so much what other people think of your decisions. I found true peace not through isolating by 9pm with a 10-step-skincare routine, but through listening to myself and what I want my time to look like. Once again: connection is key! I fill my cup alone, but nothing makes me feel more alive than spending time with my lovely friends.
Baby Yourself
Iām serious! When I feel terrible, Iām usually able to pinpoint why by checking if my basic needs are met. Did you eat today, drink water, spin the block in the sunshine, say āhiā to someone face-to-faceā¦ basically, did you do all of the things that one would reasonably expect a parent to provide for their small child? If not, no wonder you feel terrible and need a nap. This one is silly and definitely comes from my job as a nanny, but itās honestly a perspective switch that helps me a lot in moments where I ājust feel badā. You can also look at it as if you’re taking care of a friend. Would you encourage them to lay around all day ruminating in anxiety, or try to get them out of the house for a quick walk and then a fun bubble bath and spa night. It’s all about perspective. You are precious, and you deserve to be treated gently. There’s no rules that say we can only accept TLC from others.
Do Not Disturb: ON
I know this one is divisive, and Iāll admit to both being annoyed by a well-intentioned notify anyway and also turning around and doing the same thing to people Iām close with. Will I keep my phone on DND anyways? Of course I will. Like I mentioned earlier, people donāt just get access to you whenever they wantā¦ or at least, they shouldnāt. Social media and the constant phone-in-hand phenomenon make it so weāre always plugged in. In some ways this is amazing for connection and spontaneous plans, but at the same time, sometimes you need to be fully alone.
A new practice Iāve been tentatively incorporating (itās hard!) is avoiding my phone for the first fifteen minutes of my day. I let myself look out the window, brush my teeth, turn on the Keurig, and journal about my dreams from the night before and plans for the day. Waking up and immediately checking my notifications made me feel anxious and āonā before Iād had the chance to warm up to the day.Ā
To wrap it up, my top tips for tuning out the white noise of the world and connecting with your intuition include a digital detox (even if this is only for a few minutes at the beginning or end of your day), practicing intentional self-care, and setting boundaries for where your energy goes (and who gets your attention).
In general terms I would add: say ‘yes’ more, spend most of your time outside, and have a creative project that you’re working on. A craft is perfectly acceptable. Trust yourself, learn how to curate a vibe (I got myself to the library yesterday with nothing but sunglasses, headphones blaring girly pop, a pink tank top, and an iced matcha), understand that jealousy just shows you what you want, embarrassment is a mindset, and realize that Charli is right… everything is romantic.
Your life is yours; it’s quite a terrifying and beautiful and special thing. I would argue it’s the only thing. Grab your twenties by the horns, use your core to stabilize you, and never let go of your whimsy.