Regardless of where you live, how old you are, and your day-to-day challenges, chances are the future is on your mind. We all wonder what the future holds and how the events and choices we make right now will shape it. Many of us spend a large part of our lives, in one way or another feeling stuck with a strong desire to move forward and envision our future. I, like many of you, have a strong compulsion to constantly control what’s to come even though most of the time that is simply impossible.
We know the past but cannot control it. We control the future but cannot know it.
Claude Shannon
I would say I try my best at having a balance between being organized and being spontaneous; however, when it comes to thinking of the future and what it holds, the uncertainty is quite unsettling as it matters a lot more. As college students, we’re constantly thinking about what has not yet happened and the different scenarios we keep playing in our minds on a loop impact us deeply. Sometimes we avoid the whole thing and shove it into a far corner of our minds and pretend it has nothing to do with us. Other times we are overanalyzing how everything will play out, are hyperalert to new information, and sometimes are paralyzed by how overwhelming it can be.
Especially after the pandemic, the reality of an uncertain future scared me a lot more as I have no frame of reference because I’ve never lived through anything like it before. For example, I would like to be able to plan how my career is going to go, but I don’t have any experience to refer to, and most likely I’m not going to be able to completely prepare myself for it. It took a lot of time for me to realize that that is okay. Focusing on the experience and putting in your best is a whole lot better than stressing about the outcome. Enjoying my college life rather than constantly worrying about the career that comes after college has been the best decision, although it took me a while to adapt to this mindset. The biggest and single most challenging learning obstacle for me has been understanding that the future hasn’t happened yet. Recognizing the uncertainty of the future, feeling just how uncomfortable that is, and leaning into that discomfort is the scariest yet most exhilarating thing one can do.
Since uncertainty and lack of control can lead to a lot of stress, here are some things that helped me:
Planning different scenarios
As I mentioned before I try my best to keep a balance between following a schedule and being spontaneous. It’s important to do random unplanned activities as it contributes to our sense of freedom (and doing crazy things with fAs I mentioned before, I try my best to keep a balance between following a schedule and being spontaneous. It’s important to do random unplanned activities as it contributes to our sense of freedom (and doing crazy things with friends from time to time serves as a healthy distraction from stressing about the future) and it’s honestly just what we need sometimes. But other times, I find having a schedule creates a healthy structure and gives me a sense of control.
Let go and focus on what you can control
Full disclosure this is probably the one I’m the worst at but I’m making progress. The anxiety that I’ve experienced from not knowing something important or having inadequate information has led me to cultivate a culture of fear. Full disclosure, this is probably the one I’m the worst at, but I’m making progress. The anxiety that I’ve experienced from not knowing something important or having inadequate information has led me to cultivate a culture of fear. Personally, the only way I have been able to reduce my anxiety has been to unplug and focus on what I can do. For example, instead of stressing about passing a class, I focus on the material at hand and what I can do to ensure I get the results I want.
acceptance and tolerance
We all know that we face small uncertainties every day like driving somewhere, even though there is a chance we might not make it there safely. The only reason we do it is that we have faith in ourselves. Acknowledging these everyday uncertainties that we usually gloss over and focusing on the fact that we still go about our lives can reassure and build tolerance and help to reduce stress and anxiety due to lack of control. We don’t want uncertainty, and yet it’s part of our lives. By accepting it we’re not saying we like it, but rather we’re willing to experience this uncertainty and accept it as part of our lives. Once I slowly started accepting it, I realized it doesn’t have the power to overwhelm me.
I see my future as one big puzzle and every move I make and decision I take are puzzle pieces; I’m not quite sure how they fit together, but I’ve accepted the fact that I don’t have much else of a choice other than to wait and see. I’m not handing over complete control. I’m still working hard on what I can to ensure I get where I want, but I’m not constantly fretting about the uncertainties or that I’m not good enough, or that it simply won’t happen. Instead, I realized I don’t need to have all the answers about my future right this second. I just have to focus on having faith in myself and focus on the task at hand, as we will never be able to truly predict our futures.
The future is completely open and we are writing it moment to moment.
Pema Chödrön