As anyone who has ventured into the KLARC at peak gym hours can tell you, it is a delicate and fragile ecosystem full of distinct creatures. That being said, if you have not yet acclimated yourself with the gym and all its various inhabitants, don’t fret! We are here with a definitive guide of the 5 people you are most likely to run into on your next fitness endeavor (you can thank us later).
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Queen Bee of the KLARC This gym goer is most likely decked out in her most fashionable work out set and is probably wearing at least one article of clothing from Lululemon. She can be found walking at an incline on the treadmill while she watches Netflix on her phone. She is no rookie at the gym, so do not be surprised if she gives you an attitude for stealing her unassigned (but assigned) treadmill.
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Frat Boy During Bulking Season If possible, steer clear of this man when you encounter him in the KLARC. He is most likely there with two or three of his meatiest frat brothers, and they are not there to play. When they aren’t flexing in the mirrors or trying to out-lift each other on the most public of machines, they can be found leaving puddles of sweat on the ab mats. It is in your best interest (and theirs) to give them a wide berth.
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Your Professor Unfortunately, at a school like Bucknell you are bound to run into someone you know within 5 minutes of your arrival at the gym; however, you should definitely keep your fingers crossed that the person you know is not your professor. Whether it is your favorite professor or your least favorite, there is nothing more awkward than sweating it out on the elliptical next to the guy who grades your philosophy essays… Do you say hello? Do you strike up an impromptu office hour? We have no clue and for your sake, we hope this doesn’t happen to you.
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Elderly Man You Have Never Seen Before We all know this type of person, and we honestly have no clue where he came from or what he is doing in our gym. He can be found monopolizing the 5-pound dumbbells or wandering aimlessly between machines. We certainly wish him no ill-will, and we commend his commitment to his fitness, but we are not quite sure how to act when we find ourselves waiting in line behind him at the water fountain.
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D1 Athletes Who Make You Wonder Why You Even Came to the Gym in the First Place This category is probably the easiest to recognize because they will undoubtedly be adorned in their freshest “Bucknell Athletics” attire. No matter what machine they are on, they are sure to outperform you in every way while making it look beyond easy. Try not to let these super-humans discourage you.