It didn’t occur to me how life-changing turning 20 would be until everyone began asking me about it. Was I excited or nervous? Did I realize that this meant not only entering a new decade, but also leaving behind my teenage years?
In my family, turning 10 was always a big deal. It represented a significant milestone—not being a little kid anymore and the first year of double digits! My grandparents even started taking 10-year-old grandkids on international trips—being 10 meant being an explorer. As one of the eldest in the family, my “10-Year-Old Trip” was a test run, just over the Canadian border into Vancouver. I have so many fond memories from that trip. The world was my oyster.
Now, in university, being an adult is an insanely overwhelming burden. What do you mean I have to feed and house myself? The past few weeks have been full of jokes about gray hair and retirement homes. Sure, being an adult means getting closer to the end of my life, but why are we not focused on the more immediate concerns? What about jokes about being broke and starving post-grad? I can’t stop myself from thinking that’s what is next for me.
Nobody asks you if you’re scared to turn 10. But, when it came to turning 20, it was all I heard.
On the eve of my birthday, my dad texted me, “Enjoy your final 13 minutes of being a screenager!!!” I decided to entertain the possibility that maybe this transition wasn’t such a bad thing. Being an adult and having adult responsibilities might be scary, but it can also come with good things too: being respected and taken seriously, having more opportunities to make connections and explore the things I love, starting my career, and maybe even a family.
In the morning, I was met with an almost nine-minute-long video from my sister. She had secretly gotten everyone in my extended family, including my roommates and boyfriend, to record birthday messages for me and had compiled it all as a surprise.
It’s not unusual for my family to come together like this to pass on messages. We have a tradition where when you turn 15, you have an initiation into being an adult member of the family where your older relatives pass on advice and wisdom—but that is an organized thing, based on stories of people’s own experiences. Messages like these are about why I am important to the people around me, which was a heartwarming shift.
Birthdays have never been exceptionally special to me; it’s hard to make them feel like more than a regular day. But something my roommate said on my 20th birthday stuck with me. She encouraged me to take the day to be grateful for the people around me—I have made it this far because of them.
The video from my family and friends was way better than any material gift I could have received. It made my day meaningful and full of reflection. As I went about my classes, I kept thinking to myself how the things I did subconsciously were those that my family recognized and loved me for.
I think what scares me the most about being an adult is not just the pressures, but having to face them by myself. The messages from the people I love most have reassured me that I am anything but alone.
I am excited to begin this third decade of my life!
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