Not much needs to be said on why the last couple of weeks have been extra tough on women in America. Crowds of thousands of protestors voicing their anger against Judge Brett Kavanaugh’s Supreme Court nomination gave voice to the voiceless, in Washington and around the country. Online, it was hard to escape the news when social media was buzzing about the political scandal that the nomination had become, and people argued furiously on whether or not Kavanaugh should be elected. In the eye of the storm, Christine Blasey-Ford stood calmly in court, telling her story of sexual assault and giving light to the thousands of survivors all across the nation.
The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network received a 200% increase in calls surrounding Blasey-Ford and Kavanaugh’s testimonies on September 27th. It is undeniable that this is an incredibly harsh time to victims and survivors of sexual assault, and you may even be struggling if you are an ally or know someone who has experienced assault. Emotions are running high, so it’s more important than ever before to be there for one another — and even more importantly, yourself! Make sure you take the time to cope properly. Here are a few different mechanisms that you can try out for yourself or for someone else.
1. Take a walk.
It’s really simple, but this is one of my go-to ways of dealing with stress, anxiety, anger, or anything else that I am struggling with. If you’re at work or school, it should always be okay to take a quick break and go walk off the thoughts and feelings you might be having. On the day of the Ford testimony, I went for four walks, so take as many as you need so long as they help you calm down.
2. Reach out to someone you emotionally trust.
This is important: think of somebody who you trust to listen to you and understand with deep compassion for what you are going through. They might be a survivor too, or simply just an ally. Band together with other women or men who may be having a hard time as well. Don’t be afraid to reach out — they probably need you, too.
3. Seek professional help if needed.
This shouldn’t be a last resort. Professional help can be extremely crucial for healing yourself and can be helpful during tough times. Even if you go to one therapy session, or just call a hotline, it can make a big difference. Do not be afraid to do this. It is always okay.
4. Pamper yourself.
Take your mind and body off the news. Go to a spa, get your nails done, or just take a bubble bath. Do a face mask. Prove to yourself that you matter.
5. Write.
This is another major coping mechanism that I personally find useful, and while it may not be for everyone, I firmly believe it’s always worth a try. Use a journal if you have one to keep it more private, or just grab a spare piece of paper and write out all your thoughts and feelings. You could even try writing poems. Anything to put your emotions down on paper — it can help validate what you’re going through.
6. Prioritize the gym.
Exercise is important anyway, but it can be a great physical outlet for when you’re going through a tough time mentally and emotionally as well. Often times, our emotions manifest themselves in the body through tension or aches and pains. Going to the gym can help channel your anger, sadness or frustration into something else, and help increase your dopamine afterwards to make you feel a little better, too. Make sure to stay hydrated!
7. Watch a movie or TV show that calms you down.
The Great British Baking Show and Keeping Up With the Kardashians are two of my favorites. Try rewatching something that reminds you of happy times or try something refreshing and new. Whatever can help take your mind off of things in a difficult time, especially if you’re not ready to tackle emotions head-on yet.
8. Read a book that offers sanctuary.
This can be a book that relates to current events, or a book that’s totally different. I personally recommend The Poet X or good old Harry Potter.
9. Let yourself indulge a little.
Ice cream is okay right now (or all the time, let’s be real). Don’t beat yourself up about ythis if you normally feel guilty indulging. Have something sweet or another favorite snack. Try going on a shopping spree. Treat yourself.
10. Meditate.
Relax, relax, relax. Focus on your breathing and slowing down your thoughts. Connect with your body. Make time for this, because you deserve it.
11. Look into emotional support animals.
This is more of a long-term commitment, so be aware that it shouldn’t be done right away unless you’ve already done some research. However, emotional support animals can be incredibly helpful for dealing with stress at all times in life. Fish are great, low-maintenance pets if you’re not ready for a cat or dog. You can even get a plant to care for if you can’t commit to an animal.
12. Cook or bake.
Another great outlet is getting into the kitchen and having fun with a cookbook. You even get a yummy treat at the end! Try brownies for a simple recipe or look up something more complicated. Make a nice dinner for yourself and have fun trying something new.
13. Create art.
This can be a great emotional outlet. You don’t need to be Picasso to paint, just let the brush flow over the canvas and express whatever your mind gives it. Drawing is another wonderful way to cope, or try other forms of arts and craft.
14. Take a self-defense class.
If you want to feel productive during a time like this, try taking a self-defense class. Already taken one? Take another. It will never hurt to brush up on skills or learn new ones, and it might help to make you feel stronger.
15. Cry.
It’s. Okay. To. Cry.
Do it. Just let it out. You’re not weak, you’re strong, and you’re allowed to be emotional. Let everything out. It’s not healthy to keep things bottled up. Cry with a friend or cry by yourself if you’re more comfortable with that. Need to cry at work? That is totally fine too. Don’t be afraid to let your emotions out. It’s healthy.
If you feel you are in crisis, or someone you know is in crisis, please call the sexual abuse hotline at 1-800-656-4673. This is available 24 hours a day, and it’s always okay to reach out. Let yourself be helped.
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