How To Love Being Alone

Being alone in public — we have all faced it at some point in our lives. The first time it happens, it is so uncomfortable. For some of us, we thrive when we’re alone. For others, it is the most terrifying experience ever and leaves us feeling at our lowest. Why is this? Why do we feel the need to constantly be around others? Is it because humans are social creatures? Is it because society always encourages us to be with others?

I think it is all of the above. However, being alone should not be viewed as a negative thing. It is good to be alone sometimes. It is important to really reflect on how we are feeling internally, and not always be focusing our energy on others. It is vital that we recharge and focus on our inner dialogue and feelings. If not, we can feel drained and disconnected from ourselves.

I would say that I am a pretty independent person. Despite this, I really struggled with being alone for a long time. In high school, I was always surrounded by people and I could always count on my friends to hang out with. In the later years of high school, however, my friends and I both got busier and it meant more time spent by myself. I would take the train home by myself or walk to work alone. It was terrifying for me. 

This initial feeling disappeared over time. I was able to eat alone and go for long walks by myself after a short period of time. This came from a lot of practice, and that is my first tip: practice being alone. It might sound strange, but go to the store by yourself or take the train alone. If you are alone by yourself when you choose to be, it makes you feel like you are in control. Also, the more often you are alone on your own terms, you become comfortable with being alone and it becomes easier. This pattern allows you to allow your body and mind to become comfortable and your nerves to become settled. 

This does not have to be in public either. It can be alone in your room and choosing not to contact anyone for a while. Constantly being on our phones and that ease of access to communicating with others can be unhealthy. We can talk to so many people at once, and sometimes it even becomes a dependency issue when we start to assume that a particular person will always be there. This is not a realistic expectation of others.

I have found that meditation really helps me assess how I feel. I am able to come to this state of peace and solitude. Meditation might be boring at first, but as I said before, practice is key! I also would recommend exercising or having a self-care night — put on a face mask, a movie, and relax! 

Journaling and practicing positive affirmations can really help you feel better about yourself, which is one of the most important parts of being alone. I love being able to focus on myself and really listen to what my body is telling me. Our bodies have such a wonderful way of communicating our needs, and we just need to listen!

When we allow ourselves to fully relax, this is when we are able to recharge. We can truly learn to appreciate both our bodies and minds. We are able to rest and not feel the need to attend to others. It is so important to put ourselves first and this is not selfish. You need to put yourself first. When we do this, we can both care for ourselves and others in our lives in a balanced manner. 

Our social battery can only last so long. Sometimes we need to cancel plans and just spend time with ourselves. This is not a bad thing! We owe it to ourselves to be kind and respectful towards our own minds, especially during these times. 

It can seem difficult to be alone, especially if you are a social butterfly! However, your body will appreciate you more if you are able to really take the time to heal. It does not need to be an immediate change ─ even taking small steps will help! This takes time and you might not be able to eat a meal by yourself ever. Do what makes you comfortable, but just know that it is never bad or weird that you are alone.

Don’t let the pressure to have a large group of friends or always being with people get to you.

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