The Subtle Art Of Romanticising (Especially In Winter)

We all know that feeling. You’re in the depths of winter, the warmth of the sun feels like some distant memory, and the days are so dark, so short and so unnecessarily cold. Going to a 9am is maybe one of the most unappealing ideas anyone has ever had. The truth is, at this time of year especially, life can seem mundane, uninspiring, and a little bit depressing. However, there is one little thing that, in my opinion, makes everything seem a little bit better: this is where the art of romanticising comes in. 

Firstly, what does it actually mean to romanticise something? Oxfords Languages dictionary describes romanticising as ‘to make something seem better or more appealing than it really is’. And the reason for doing it? Well, as stated above – to make something seem better or more appealing than it really is. Because cold days and the sun going down at like 3pm is not appealing. To be honest. 

Perhaps at other times of the year, we may take for granted some aspects of our lives that have a big impact on our overall wellbeing. Where you could once go outside greeted by the enveloping heat of June, you now must layer and layer – a coat, gloves, a scarf – just to purely step outside. Where daylight was seemingly once abundant, you now have to walk home at the end of your day in complete darkness, with any morsels of sunlight completely irretraceable.  Where you once enjoyed slow, golden-hour bathed evenings spent leisurely in a pub garden with your friends, the thought of going out is now a chore, something to be checked off so you still feel like you have a social life. But, winter is certainly not going anywhere: in fact, we still have another two months to get through before we start seeing daffodils. So instead, we romanticise. 

Romanticising is simple – it is really about seeking the joy from small, mundane things. A glimpse of sunlight amongst grey days, a dimly lit café, a new Sally Rooney book, an overpriced latte, people-watching. Wake up a little earlier, drink a green tea in bed as the world comes to life, and enjoy the stillness and calm that accompanies this time of day. Take the glacial weather as an opportunity to put together an outfit which leaves you feeling snugly stylish. Maybe it feels like you have to work for these moments a little bit more, but they are always there. You just have to seek them. 

For example, I just booked an appointment to get my nails done. Could I have done it myself? Yes. Is it really actually necessary? No. BUT, will it give me a tiny little boost of serotonin every time I get a glimpse of my red and silver starred nails for the next 3 weeks? Absolutely yes it will. Let’s say you buy that super cute vintage rare y2k 90s vintage one-of-a-kind top you saved on Depop 2 months ago. If it’s something to look forward to, something to excite you, then it is worth it. 

However, don’t think romanticising has to involve breaking the bank; to reiterate, it is about seeking joy wherever you can. The art of romanticising comes from being able to appreciate what other people may completely disregard. For some people, they may seek it from an interaction with a stranger, for others it may come from listening to Silver Springs on your way to uni, or from watching Harris Dickinson dance to ‘Father Figure’ in ‘Babygirl’. For no two people will it look the same!

And it certainly isn’t about being having a perfectly curated aesthetic either, unlike the way romanticising is depicted through social media trends, from ‘cottage-core’ to ‘dark academia’. In these trends, picture-perfect aesthetics are presented in the form of Victoria sponges eaten from wine glasses, or perhaps a heavily sepia-toned snapshot of someone reading in a Saltburn-esque library. Whilst these things may look good in a picture, it isn’t about the way something looks, but rather the way it feels. Don’t do it for your Instagram – do it for you. Even if no one sees that you were listening to Lana del Ray in a candle-lit bath, it still happened! You’re not doing these things to be deemed more Instagram worthy, but instead for your own sake of seeking joy in the small moments of your everyday. 

But by the same token, remember that the art of romanticising is an art – like with all art, it is something subjective, something that changes depending on how you interpret it, and it can mean something different for everyone. Your life won’t be drastically different – in fact, your life will be largely the same. It is the lens through which you view life that changes: the same life, you just seek more joy out the minutiae.  

There may be sceptics, those that view this as a pointless practice, those that believe you should accept life’s mundane and dispiriting aspects, and simply get on with it. 

But as Laurie said in Little Women: ‘I think the poets might disagree.’ And I will leave you with that.

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• romanticise
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• self care
• the art of romanticisation
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• winter