The only ‘right’ way to experience university, is the one that feels right to you.
Prompted by seemingly age-old proverbs of university being ‘the best years of your life’, and spurred on by countless photo dumps of beaming faces, vibrant cocktails and flat parties captured on 36mm film on Instagram , there is an anxiety amongst many students to ensure that they’re making the most of every moment at uni. On nights spent in, when the buzz of freshers begins to wear off and things start to feel a little more mundane, it can be hard to shake any feelings guilt and restlessness; these are ‘supposed’ to be the most wild & daring days of your youth. But, whilst, of course, university provides a wonderful environment for trying new things, meeting new friends, and embracing your independence, it is important to remember that the ‘right way’ of experiencing university is whichever way makes you happy, and not that which is based on the heavily prescribed idea that your schedule should be full every day.
For starters, there’s no set way to have ‘fun’ and the prospect of having the best time of your life is an entirely subjective one. For some people, clubbing every night and staying up until sunrise may be the ideal lifestyle, whereas others are perfectly content and simply thrive off the independence and peace that studying away from home offers them. This is why the pressure to have the ‘best time of your life’ is wholly nonsensical: if something feels right to you, whether that be staying in and cooking your favourite meal, or taking full advantage of 2 for 1 drinks on your student night, then this is the ‘best time’ for you, and you have nothing to prove to anyone else. The greatest thing about university is that it is a highly personal and customisable experience, and you have the capacity to take from it what you want, in a way that best suits you. We spend too much of our lives trying to fit into narrow ideals and adhere to expectations established in times that outdate our own births; if there is ever a time to be selfish, and live in a way that makes us truly, genuinely happy, and not just one which fits a joyful aesthetic, it is during our university years. Don’t ever let generic suppositions dictate the way you enjoy yourself.
It’s never too late
This being said, if you had hoped to have ticked off more ‘bucket list’ experiences, or made more friends , then your feelings are also valid, but try not to bed too hard on yourself- life never runs as smoothly as coming of age films or Pinterest boards may have it seem. Don’t stress about what you’ve missed out on so far, especially given that the past 24 months have differed very significantly from the conventional student experience that you may have heard family members or older friends speak about, but, rather, focus on putting yourself out there as you move forward. Clubs and societies often present opportunities to get involved throughout the year, such as the ‘Refreshers’ programme. Check out your student union website, or scout facebook groups for any clubs you may be interested in. It is never too late to explore something new, and no one else’s timing or progression should reflect on your own. Just because your flatmate is involved in five societies, plays for a sports team, and has been a member of countless clubs since the fresher’s fair, this doesn’t mean that you can’t enquire into something new as a novice half way through the year. Trying new things, no matter when or how, is something to be proud of, and you’re allowed, even encouraged, to sample and trail different things throughout your time at university. If these don’t work out, or you find yourself not having the energy, time, or passion for anything you decide to try out…this is also absolutely okay. Once again, the ‘success’ of your university experience is not dictated by how many things you’ve been involved in, but, rather, the pleasure you take from what is offered to you.
Putting a strain on yourself to keep upbeat, energised and constantly busy, can have an adverse affect on your mental health. Going out every night may be your thing, and there is absolutely no shame in this, but if this is causing you to burn out and feel unhappy, then consider re-addressing the balance. Focus on how you can make yourself feel content and at peace in this very moment, and less on how your university tales will fare up as you reminisce around a dinner table in twenty years time. Having a night off is not failing or wasting time, and listening to your mind and body will never steer you wrong.
you’re not alone
Remember that university life is still real life; not simply a means of capturing aesthetic photos or banking wild stories: to view the period in this way reduces university life to a one-dimensional experience. Much like any time of life, there are ups, downs, exuberant times, and fairly uneventful days. Once you stop putting pressure on yourself to have the best time of your life, and rather take this genuinely wonderful period of life day by day, making time for things that bring you joy, and turning down things that don’t, you’re all the more likely to actually have the best time of your life. And, if you’re finding that university isn’t all you hoped it would be, know that you’re not alone, and there are people and services to help you make your experience more comfortable.Reach out to a close friend or your students’ union, or your GP if the feeling persists. The pressure to maintain the ethos that university should be effortlessly the most picture perfect time of your life is far more damaging than ever admitting that things aren’t quite what what you expected, and if any aspect is making you unhappy, then you have plenty of options. The growth and persistence that come with facing any obstacles are just as valuable as the laughs, memories, and bonding moments that are also sure to come.
Be kind to yourself and do what makes you truly happy: the best time of your life will follow naturally.