Entering my first semester of my sophomore year in college, I put a lot of high expectations on myself and how my semester should turn out. My well-thought-out plan consisted of straight A’s, expanding my social circle, networking, joining new organizations, pledging a sorority; the typical goals a college student plans for oneself. But what do we do when we don’t achieve our goals? When the unexpected happens and shifts the schedule? What happens if we fail? This is something I was not prepared for: failure, and how to survive it.
When I concluded my first semester of my sophomore year I did not achieve all of my goals, and it’s hard not to feel like a failure. As a young woman entering her 20s, I can feel the pressure that society has placed on my generation, telling us exactly where we should be in life and which pathway to take. With social media being so prevalent in our everyday lives it’s hard not to feel behind, lazy, or just not good enough. That being said, I feel like the topic of failure is more common than ever, especially with my fellow college students. So, what can we do if we don’t achieve our goals? How do we cope with failure? Here are a few tips I found helpful when I feel like a failure.
Stop Self-Comparision
The first piece of advice I can give is to stop comparing yourself to others if you are doing so. There is a phrase commonly said, “comparison in a thief of joy” and I’ve experienced this first hand. As social media grows every day it’s hard not to compare yourself to others around you, which can truly hinder you from your future successes. It’s important to focus on personal goals and track your own self-progress rather than measure your successes to someone else’s.
Self Care
Self-care can take form in many different ways and I found this to be very helpful when coping with failure. Some self-care methods that helped me when going through failure consist of watching a new Netflix show, making a new Spotify playlist, going to my local library to start a new book, poetry, writing, and taking extra long showers. I view self-care as an opportunity to not only de-stress but a fun way to get to learn more about yourself.
Reflection Journal
I view self reflections as a crucial step for improving yourself. As a college student, I journal as well as note the highlights of my semester. This allows me to pinpoint where I went wrong and what I can do differently for my next semester. But this can apply in any aspect of life especially when confronted with failure. Reflecting and learning from your past wrongdoings can not only help you cope with your failures but also aid your overall growth as an individual.
Talk to someone
Personally, I found failure to be isolating when dealt with alone. Failure can be embarrassing and humbling, especially if you plan on completing a variety of goals. Even though talking to someone about your failure can be scary, it can be very eye-opening. It can be refreshing; receiving a different point of view on your situation and getting helpful advice. You also might find someone who is struggling with the same failure! You never know. So, it’s important to make these kinds of connections with people as it creates a sense of community and sense of belonging.
Failure is hard to accept. I get it. But your failures don’t define you as a person and you should not let your failures consume you. It’s important to use these skills as well as others to learn how to cope with your failures. Life is all about failure as it builds understanding, and creates room for improvement.