I want to preface this piece by saying that I am by no means an expert in fitness, mental health, or nutrition. I am simply speaking on my own personal experience. I also want to start with a TRIGGER WARNING: I am going to be briefly mentioning eating disorders, not with details but if you think that may be upsetting for you, you may not want to read.
With that said, I want to share all the positive effects falling in love with the gym had on me and my life. Recently, I’ve been feeling kind of burnt out and unmotivated to even go to the gym. So, I am writing this piece for two reasons. The first is to remind myself of why I fell in love with the gym in the first place in hopes of reigniting that passion. And the second is, hopefully, to inspire someone else to use the gym or any sort of fitness activity in the same way.
I first started weightlifting at the end of my senior year of high school in 2019. At the time, I was struggling with my mental health and one of friends told me that going to gym had been helping her mental health and making her feel better. So, when she invited me to go with her, I went. Not only did it help my mental health, it also caused other big, positive changes in my life.
“Weight lifting didn’t come easy to me. But it did help me save myself, and learn a lot about how we…need to put ourselves first.”
Tamara Walcott, Current Powerlifting World Record Holder
release
The first positive thing weightlifting became for me, was my release. Everyone needs something to be their release, a place where they can get all their thoughts, emotions and stress out. For some people, its running, journaling or meditating. For me, it became weightlifting. I honestly don’t know what it was about it that made it feel safe and comforting to me. Maybe it was the repetition and rhythmic nature of it. I’m someone who thrives on structure and schedules and things like that so that could have been part of it. It also makes you feel like you’re in control. You control the weights, its empowering. But it was where I went when I needed to think, when I needed stress relief, when I needed to get all my emotions out. Its like the everything goes quiet, the world falls away and its just me, myself and weights (cornyyyy I know). It’s my safe place, my outlet, my release.
Now I know weightlifting isn’t going to be for everyone. I personally really enjoy weightlifting in more of a powerlifting style. But, if thats not for you, I think that any kind of physical/fitness activity could have the same effect whether its running, yoga, pilates, some type of sport, etc. I think that any of these would be a great form of release and would also just make your body feel good long term. Honestly, I think that anything that helps you to focus your mind on just yourself is a great form of release.
Confidence & Self-acceptance
Another thing the gym gave me was confidence. My whole life I really struggled with my body image. I think going to the gym made me realize that people’s bodies come in all kinds of shapes and sizes and there is no “perfect” body. In powerlifting specifically, a lot of lifters don’t really look like the stereotypical, lean, super buff person you’d expect. Some people do but some people also look like normal, everyday people. Of course, they have more muscle and strength but, a lot of them have thicker body types and would be considered plus size according to societal standards. So, I think seeing these types of people look so confident in their own skin and in their craft made me realize that I shouldn’t feel like I need to strive for a particular body type.
After almost four years of lifting now, I have more muscle than the typical woman does. I have broad shoulders and am pretty tall. And since these features are usually considered features of a man or someone who’s more masculine, my frame looks a little more masculine sometimes. But I kind of love that about my body now. I identify as pansexual and I think that having a more “masculine” build has helped me accept that part of myself too. I personally like to dress both masculine and feminine depending on how I’m feeling, so having a body that looks both feminine and masculine at different times is really cool to me. I like to see it as breaking gender norms and stereotypes of what a woman should look like. Strong women are sexy!
Healing relationship with food
Something that I will be forever grateful for that the gym did for me, was heal my relationship with food. When I first started lifting, I was struggling with an eating disorder. I was very thin and for how tall I am, I was very underweight. I know for some people, getting really passionate about fitness can actually cause disordered eating, so be weary of that if you’re thinking about getting into fitness. But for me, it did the opposite. I don’t want to get too into the details of my personal experience with having an eating disorder, but I used to tell myself that I needed to do something to deserve food. So, when I started lifting and saw how good it made me feel, I thought that it could help me with my body image and my relationship with food.
I think some people in the fitness industry can sometimes focus too much on dieting and that’s where disordered eating comes into play. But with lifting, a lot of the rhetoric is more so about fueling your body and building your strength and muscle. Or at least the people I was exposed to thought of it that way. I think this idea of your body needing food for fuel is really what helped me. You don’t have to do anything to deserve food! I still wanted to be cautious and thoughtful about how I went about what food I would eat so I didn’t risk more disordered eating habits. I didn’t track my macros or protein intake or put myself on a strict diet or anything like that. I just kept in mind that to make any progress in the gym, you have eat a lot of protein and eat food that is good for you. So, I just focused on fueling my body and eating clean, nutritious food.
Conclusion
So, after writing this, I think it’s safe to say my love has been returned to me and I may or not be crying. I hope that reading this has helped or inspired you in some way. If you are interested in learning more about the queen, Tamara Walcott, I highly suggest reading about her story or checking out her instagram. If you are struggling with an ED and need help, click here for resources!