Dating Apps have been a source of controversy for as long as I can remember. The association between dating apps and self confidence are often brought into question. With the increase in college students using dating apps and the decline of self confidence among its users, people have begun to notice the correlation between the two. The constant judging of one’s looks and body has greatly impacted the users of dating apps with its toxicity.
I have been using dating apps for the past 3 years. From Tinder to Bumble, I have used them all. In college, it seems like everyone has dating apps and has great success. People are getting into relationships and are finding great people. However, I felt like I was the only one not having the same level of success. It seemed like everyday my confidence got worse and worse. In the beginning, I felt amazing because all these guys were swiping right on me. I gained validation from others telling me that I was pretty or good enough to “like”. Despite the affirmation I received in the beginning, as the likes started to minimize, I started to equate myself only with the swipes I was receiving. As the people who swiped on me declined so did my confidence.
The environment that surrounds dating apps is extremely toxic. I began to find faults in every aspect of myself. When a guy did not swipe on me I started to list in my head all the reasons I thought were why I was not good enough. I began to nitpick features on myself. My thighs are too big. My acne is too much. My hair is too thin. My body is too large. My face is too ugly. Everything about myself was too much. I started to believe that I was not acceptable for any guy. While I felt that I was alone in this belief, I started to believe that I was not acceptable for any guy. While I felt that I was alone in this belief, I have learned that I am anything but. A study written by Jessica Strubel states that those who use Tinder have lower self-esteem than those who do not. She asked about 1300 college-age students about their experiences on Tinder. The students who use Tinder stated that they experienced less satisfaction with their bodies and looks than those who do not use the app. Constantly being judged based on their bodies and looks on the app have led to the increased dissatisfaction in dating app users, leading to the increase in toxicity of the app.
When I finally decided to delete my accounts, I was faced with the question; why are you deleting your account? I never thought that question would affect me as it did. It hurt my confidence more to have to write that I was deleting my account because I was not getting swiped on. I was embarrassed to not have met someone on the app but instead be deleting it beceause I was not good enough. After deleting my accounts it took months to regain a portion of my confidence. I was consciously aware of my appearance at all times. I slowly began to gain my confidence back with the support of my best friends and a break from social media. Now I am able to separate my self worth from validation from others. Dating apps are causing more harm than good by projecting the idea that our looks are more important than our minds. We are shown that we get our worth from our bodies which leads to the decline in self confidence in those who use the apps. We should always remember that we are worthy and amazing despite what others may say.