I never realized until recently that I’m incredibly unsure of myself. It wasn’t always this way. As a kid, before entering elementary school and so on, I was Little Miss Independent. I always wanted to do things by myself. My parents always told me that I was beautiful and smart and that if I worked hard could get whatever I wanted. And then… I went to school. School, between my peers, teachers, and boys, taught me that I wasn’t as good as the people who were prettier, smarter, or more athletic. Yes, there were plenty of times I succeeded in school and my confidence would spike but overall elementary, junior high and high school were a big kick to the self-esteem. The worst part is that many girls go through school feeling just as insecure and unsure as I often did and we may not even realize it. They may seem so confident and like they have it all together but many women experience this awakening of self-doubt within themselves during these years. What does this teach us as women? That as people who aren’t sure if we’re good enough to get what we want we need to double check with people before we do what we really want, or even feel what we really want.
Have you ever caught yourself asking all of your friends and family and pet hamster before you buy a shirt or text a boy? We’re all guilty of that. It’s a small mistake that almost everyone makes. Why do we do it? Is it because we’re not sure if we’re capable of doing the right thing on our own? We lack confidence in our amazing selves. We wait to ask our parents before we make many big decisions, we talk to everyone we know to help us weigh the pros and cons. A lot of times we know exactly what we want to do. We know exactly what decision would make us happy and yet we wait for someone to give us the go ahead because we’re not sure if we’re doing the right thing. Wouldn’t whatever makes us happy, as long as it’s a smart decision and not causing serious harm to others, or ourselves be the right decision for us? And yet we don’t trust ourselves to make that decision.
Sometimes we know that not everyone would approve of our decision even though it makes us happy, so we don’t do it. Why should it matter? If the people in our lives really care they should want whatever would make us happy. If they don’t they don’t matter. And so we shouldn’t worry. We shouldn’t feel guilty for getting what we want or doing what makes us happy. Sometimes you need to take the risk and make that decision whatever it may be. Trust your instincts and your gut! Your instincts and your gut are beautiful and smart and capable of doing what’s best for you! Why should we, as women, doubt ourselves so much? Don’t ask permission to be happy.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask for second opinions on big decisions you’re unsure of. Counsel from others is an amazing resource. But if you know in your heart that what you’re deciding on is the right decision for you and is what will make you most happy, don’t wait on the third, fourth and fifth opinions. Don’t wait for validation from others on your life decisions. Find it in yourself.
I challenge you to do something you’ve always wanted but have been too scared to do because you’re afraid people might tell you not to. The people who really care will just love that you’re happy. You don’t really need to ask them first. It’s your beautifully splendid life. Something that you strongly feel will make you happy and enrich your life. Don’t ask permission before you do it. Just do it. It will be your very own decision. Once you do it; own it. Take responsibility for it. It just might bring you a lot of happiness and because you were the one to decide for yourself you’ll feel incredibly empowered, trust me. You’re all beautiful strong women who deserve to be incredibly, undoubtedly, crazy happy.