I don’t even really know how to start this, but this is my mental health update. I wrote an article regarding my first year of college and how I was dealing with a mental illness,https://www.hercampus.com/school/ps-behrend/lets-talk-first-year-college-mental-illnesses. Since then, I felt like a good bit has changed and improved, so I thought to give an update since September is known as Self-care Awarness month, along with Self Improvement, and National Suicide Prevention month.
Link:https://socialworklicensemap.com/mental-health-statistics-all-social-workers-should-be-aware-of/
My intention of sharing my first year of college from my perspective was to give the public a relatable story, or one that can help someone going through something similar. I did that since I wish I had the chance to read something or knew someone who was going through the same thing as I was, and it didn’t seem to help me with people telling me their stories of anxiety, along with anxiety attacks, and depression in college. Of course, I listened to them and appreciated the stories. Yet, I still felt lonely and confused and misunderstood.
link:https://www.mytherapyapp.com/blog/mental-health-in-the-workplace-usa
A lot of my issues from my first year came from me not being able to study (no matter how much I looked at the material) and thus my grades weren’t the straight A’s as I had hoped. On top of that, I had no idea why I couldn’t focus and study so that made everything so much worse. With that, I had to late drop two classes and got a few B’s freshman year. I know that is not a major problem for a lot of students but for a field that is competitive (nutrition), my GPA does matter a lot. As well as people did not understand my situation since I was that straight A honors and AP students who was an all season athletes, involved with 7 clubs and was still able to work on the weekend and clock in volunteer hours. Now that was the jist of my problems from last year. So what has happened?
After that testing and being diagnosed with severe general anxiety and chronic depression, I started off with Zolft, 50 mg, as I mentioned in my first mental health article. I am still taking zoloft but the dosage increased to 100 mg (reference, zoloft goes from roughly 25-250 mg in dosage).
Another change is that I am in my sophomore year of college and I moved back home to save some money. With that, a combination of things helped me. With sophomore year, you are generally more comfortable with the campus, you know a little more about how college classer run, what resources are available to you and more. That helped greatly in terms of reducing my anxiety and my depression as well since I know I have a campus support system. Living at home helped too since I can talk and see my parents everyday who are great listeners and supports me and my goals, especially my mother. And at home, I have more resources there than living on my own so that reduces my anxiety as well and my depression is lower since I see my parents everyday as well as seeing my animals.
My photo: description: me with my parents from more than a year ago (graduation from HS).
Going back to the medicine, the medicine has helped me to actually focus on my studies and I finally learned how I study the best and can make the most of my time studying. Which, it is hard knowing how to study since in high school, I learned I did indeed not know how to study and barely did anyway. Now for me, studying is a must in college. I couldn’t wing it anymore. Plus, it is common for college freshmen not knowing how to study. And on top of everything, I think I was going through a period of not knowing myself and what I wanted. From that, the depression took its toll and it was very hard.
Link: https://www.lonsdaleinstitute.edu.au/blog/reduce-stress-while-studying/
Now I am not going to play it off, the summer that just ended was really rough on me. The first month, I became very depressed and could just go to work and barely anything else. That was still on zoloft 50 mg. Towards the end of summer, I did feel better but definitely drained since I essentially worked almost every day. So in July, I got a new Psychiatrist, and that’s when the dosage of zoloft increased to 100 mg.
On top of everything, I better know myself in what I can and cannot handle regarding college workload and balancing that out with my social life/work life. This semester, I joined two more clubs and I feel even more involved on campus, which is wonderful.
link:https://behrend.campuslabs.com/engage/organization/behrend-benefiting-thon
Another thing is since my symptoms of anxiety and depression have been managed and I discovered myself more, I am now in a healthy and happy committed relationship with my boyfriend. It was the same guy I broke up twice with since I was essentially a hot and confused mess. But he patiently waited for me and we continued talking a lot and yeah, now we are dating again and it has been fantastic. He helps me in so many ways since he is so understanding, patient, and overall is my best friend. If I ever need to talk to someone, he is one phone call away.
Photo: mine. My boyfriend and I.
So that is what has happened since I wrote my last article. Obviously not everything is perfect and I can have unexpected depression episodes with no causation and it is hard to get through them. Or I got randomly overwhelmed and get short of breath and close to a panic attack. But the key is that this all is greatly reduced and my support system is so strong. With that, I would say I am managing pretty well and I take it day by day. Nothing is perfect and bad things can happen, but I always know my resources at hand to help me through life. And never be afraid of saying you need help or something, life is hard and everyone needs help sometimes.
link:https://www.paintedteacup.com/chronic-illness-quotes/
Some Hotline numbers:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK)
–Provides 24/7, toll-free hotline for anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress.
The Samaritans: (877) 870-4673 (HOPE)
–A 24/7 hotline crisis service relating to feelings of depression, feeling lonely and or suicidal.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline – 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
–24/7 hotline that provides treatment referral and information services for families or individuals regarding mental and / or substance use disorders.
link:https://youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ok-not-ok/