This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at USF chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

TW: Mention of Suicide Prevention

Okay, okay. Touch this about eight times. No, that wasn’t the right way to do that. Do it again. Again. Again. Again.

You see those people over there? They’re talking about you. Now think about it every second of every day.

You hate your family. You realize that, right? What do you mean, “I’m wrong”?!

This is how my brain sounds about every second of every day. Granted, it’s gotten better, but there are days I really struggle with it. I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, otherwise known as OCD. It totally sucks. I’m constantly aware of myself and how I might be perceived. I have to force myself not to give in to compulsions, which makes me deeply uncomfortable. But what sucks the most about having OCD is when someone says that they have it just because they are neat and organized.

Brain with purple background — Photo by Milad Fakurian from Unsplash

It took me until after COVID to get diagnosed with OCD. It wasn’t until my parents noticed me holding the door closed for a certain amount of time, making sure the pillow is EXACTLY where it should be, or getting so obsessed with something being perfect that I become emotionally distressed. They brought me to a psychiatrist, and yep, it was Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. Since then, I’ve started therapy and medication, so it’s a lot better now. It’s safe to say that OCD can make my life a living hell. It makes me think about things I don’t want to think about or obsess over little details that don’t even matter, so it bothers me whenever people use it carelessly as an adjective.

I didn’t realize how bothered I was by OCD being used as an adjective until people in my life used it to describe themselves or other people who were just neat. Why was my debilitating disorder that I have to live with forever being treated like a personality trait? Sometimes, I see myself as different people. I see the little girl who still loves the same things as she did when she was eight. I see the girl who feels she doesn’t fit in. I especially see the girl who feels like her own mind is against her. She’s the one I think of when people use OCD as just some small thing that describes people who like to clean.

image 3 [ clean bed] — Photo by SHOP SLO® from Unsplash

My disorder is not something that you just simply have. It’s awful. I have to deal with it every single day. Yes, OCD can make you cleaner than the average person, but it is completely different than just liking a clean space. If you’re struggling with OCD, I see you. It’s hard, but you’ve got this. And remember, you have to help yourself and live with the anxiety and discomfort to get better, but you can do it.

If you or people around you use OCD as an adjective, I ask that you stop and reflect. The disorder is not something silly. It affects real people, and so do your words. I ask that you educate yourself and others about how powerful words are and the effects they have on people. Below, I have linked some resources about OCD for educational purposes and for people who truly feel that they may have the disorder. Finally, I ask again to be mindful of those around you who struggle and fight invisible battles every day with OCD. Please remember, OCD awareness is suicide prevention because yes, it is that serious.

woman sitting on chair upset and frustrated — Photo by Liza Summer from Pexels

If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts or ideation, please call 988 (the National Suicide Hotline)

Mayo Clinic: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20354432

Real Stories From People Who Have the Disorder: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/1h1rtpr/what_is_ocd_like_in_detail/

“I’m So OCD”

TW: Mention of Suicide Prevention

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