Shortly after my 20th birthday, I decided it was time to seriously consider my birth control options. Although I had successfully avoided teen pregnancy throughout high school and my first two years of college, the thought of becoming pregnant while finishing my undergraduate studies became increasingly overwhelming.
Since becoming sexually active, I had sworn off birth control out of fear that it would alter my body and mind, leading to sudden weight changes, increased anxiety, depression, or a generally bad mood. I vividly remember a conversation with my mother when we finally sat down to have the talk. We were in the car, and I told her I was considering losing my virginity but was concerned about the possibility of pregnancy. Naturally, she suggested that I start taking the pill before taking that step in my relationship and always use condoms. I remember looking at her with a straight face and saying, “I will never get on any kind of birth control.”
We went on to discuss the risks of being sexually active without birth control, but I remained firm in my decision.
Years later, my perspective on birth control has changed. Even so, I still had preconceived notions about what it might do to my body when I began considering my options. From the start, I knew the pill would not fit my lifestyle. Remembering to take a pill at the same time every day felt like one more responsibility to add to my plate. I worried about remembering to bring it with me if I stayed out late or went on vacation. Ultimately, it did not feel like the right option for me.
For a short time, I also considered Nexplanon, a form of birth control inserted under the skin of the upper arm. The idea of having a small implant in my arm did not necessarily scare me, but I did not feel particularly drawn to it either. Another option was an intrauterine device, or IUD, which is what I ultimately chose.
I scheduled an appointment with my gynecologist to discuss the different types of IUDs and determine which one would be right for me. After asking questions about my lifestyle and reasons for seeking birth control, my doctor recommended the Kyleena IUD, a hormonal device that releases levonorgestrel, a type of progestin, primarily within the uterus.
I had previously heard of the Paragard and Mirena IUDs, but I knew relatively little about Kyleena. After my doctor gave me an informational pamphlet and scheduled my insertion appointment, I began researching the device and its potential side effects. I started with the official Kyleena website to understand how it worked and what side effects users might experience. Then, naturally, I turned to Reddit and TikTok to see what other people were saying.
I found countless accounts describing vastly different experiences. Some women praised their IUDs as one of the best decisions they had ever made, while others claimed that their experiences had completely changed their lives for the worse. There seemed to be no middle ground, no clear consensus, and certainly no straightforward answer about what my experience might look like.
I was mortified.
As my insertion appointment approached, my anxiety only grew. I spent nights worrying about the procedure, the potential side effects, the pain, and everything in between. I continued searching for other people’s experiences, hoping that someone else’s reassuring story would put my mind at ease. Instead, the conflicting accounts only made me more nervous.
The night before my appointment, I took misoprostol, a medication my doctor had instructed me to use to help prepare my cervix for the procedure. I was told to place the pill between my upper cheek and gum and allow it to dissolve. Within about 20 minutes, I began experiencing abdominal cramping. As I tried to sleep, the discomfort repeatedly woke me throughout the night. Eventually, I also experienced bleeding.
By morning, I was already on edge.
I took pain medication as instructed by my doctor and made sure to drink plenty of water. Time passed, and before I knew it, I was sitting on the examination table waiting for my gynecologist to enter the room.
When he arrived with the necessary instruments, I found myself staring at the IUD resting on a silver tray. He instructed me to lie back and take deep breaths as he prepared for the insertion.
With every movement, I could feel my body tensing against the procedure. Then came the pain. Sharp, intense cramps shot through me, and I found myself screaming. Tears rolled down my face as I struggled to catch my breath. I was left shivering, trying to process the pain while reminding myself to keep breathing.
The entire procedure took approximately five minutes, but those were the most painful five minutes of my life.
Afterward, my doctor brought me a glass of water and a heating pad. He checked on me, helped me regulate my breathing, and allowed me time to rest while I recovered. Eventually, I was able to leave the office and make my way home.
I was relieved that the procedure was over, but I knew my experience with birth control was only beginning.
In the days following insertion, I experienced significant brain fog. I had difficulty articulating my thoughts and remembering small details from conversations. It was unlike anything I was used to experiencing. Fortunately, these symptoms gradually subsided and were no longer a major concern after about a month.
However, I began noticing other changes. I often felt irritable and generally moody, something I first recognized about a month after getting my IUD. It was not just me noticing the difference; people around me began picking up on it, too. I also noticed changes in my energy levels. At times, I felt an overwhelming need to rest and sleep, while at other times, I experienced sudden bursts of energy.
I cannot say with certainty that every change I experienced was caused by Kyleena, but the timing made me pay closer attention to how I was feeling.
Another concern was the cramping and spotting. Before getting my IUD, I rarely experienced severe menstrual cramps. They were never bad enough to prevent me from going about my day. After insertion, however, I began experiencing more intense cramps that sometimes interfered with my daily activities.
During the first few weeks, the cramps came and went. Over time, I noticed that they occurred more frequently around the time I would typically experience premenstrual symptoms.
The bleeding was another adjustment. During the first full month after insertion, I experienced persistent spotting and bleeding, and my first period lasted approximately two weeks. Fortunately, the prolonged bleeding eventually subsided and is no longer something I experience regularly.
Today, my main concerns are mood changes and cramping. My experience with Kyleena has certainly not been perfect, but I have no regrets about getting an IUD.
There is something empowering about taking ownership of your reproductive health and making decisions about your own body. Choosing to use birth control, just like choosing not to, is a personal decision. What works for one person may not work for another, and no two experiences are guaranteed to be the same.
Before getting an IUD, I was afraid of birth control. I worried about how it might change me, whether I would experience severe side effects, and whether I would regret my decision. Looking back, I realize how much of that fear came from the uncertainty surrounding the experience itself.
My perspective has changed. Although I have experienced challenges since getting Kyleena, I am grateful to have an option that helps me take control of my reproductive health. My experience has taught me to pay attention to my body, recognize changes that concern me, and understand that making an informed decision does not mean knowing exactly how everything will turn out.
I am not sharing my story to scare anyone away from birth control, nor am I suggesting that everyone should get an IUD. I am sharing it because I know what it feels like to search for answers and struggle to make sense of the conflicting experiences you find online.
Birth control affects everyone differently, and I believe we need to be honest about both the positive and negative experiences that come with it. We should be able to talk openly about the pain, the side effects, the uncertainty, and the relief that can accompany these decisions without feeling pressured to describe our experiences as entirely good or entirely bad.