September is National Suicide Awareness Month. This month is a time for all to raise awareness for the third leading cause of death in teenagers ages 15-19. While discussion of suicide is very difficult and at times triggering, it’s important to be aware of just how serious depression, suicidal ideation, and suicide itself are.
My story
I’m sure we’ve all had moments where our mental health hasn’t been the best. For me, this was during my senior year, a year I had been expecting to be the exclamation point on my high school experience. Though the summer before my senior year, my life seemed to fall apart right in front of me. I went through my first breakup, was having family issues, and could feel the pressure of college approaching me.
I thought that the new school year would magically spark me back to life, but the opposite occurred. I couldn’t shake this constant need to cry. I hated school, going out to football games, choir, or anything that wasn’t my bed. It felt like I wasn’t myself, and I resented the person I was becoming.
I had started therapy after I had expressed to my parents that I had been struggling with thoughts of suicide, and I was eventually diagnosed with severe depression. Therapy was nice, and it gave me answers to WHAT I was feeling, but I still didn’t know WHY I was feeling it. I kept trying all the techniques I was learning, hoping that things would eventually get better, but nothing seemed to work.
Months went on, and I definitely can’t say every day was terrible, but the bad days outweighed and outnumbered the good ones, and the thought of suicide never left the foreground of my mind. The new year began, and I hit a new low. I knew the year involved a lot of change, and it all came crashing down at once.
It was January 10th, and an event happened that led me to spiral to the worst level. I called my best friends and broke down in one of their cars outside my house. In that moment, the only way I saw out of this pain was taking myself permanently out of life. I had given up. I hadn’t known peace of mind in months, and I was tired of fighting to wake up each day. It was either I got serious help, or I succumbed to my depression. After a long discussion with my friends, we went inside and talked to my parents about me spending some time in a psychiatric hospital. It was the hardest thing to ask my parents for, asking them to send me away in hopes of saving my life. My parents agreed to find me a hospital, and the group hug with my parents and best friends was the first piece of hope I had for my mental health in months.
The day I arrived at the hospital was single-handedly the worst day of my life. It was like being thrown into a tiger cage with nothing but hopes and dreams. I remember my first phone call, where I spent the entire 10 minutes begging my mom to come send a rescue mission and get me as far away from here as possible.
Despite my awful first days, the next week went by very quickly. By no means was my experience in the hospital good, but it was the awakening I needed. I am very lucky to have had the resources to take a week to recover and remove myself from the situations that were bringing me the most pain. I spent the week reflecting on myself and the things I wanted to change when I went back home. I also spent a lot of time practicing gratitude for the amazing people I had at home who stuck by me through the highs and lows.
When I got out of the hospital, it wasn’t an immediate change. It took a couple of months, with breakdowns here and there, but with the help of friends, family, and lots of self-care, my life started to fall back into place. The thought of ever taking my life slipped away, and I was happy with who I was, what my life looked like, and the experiences that got me here. I finished high school with some of the best memories from senior sunrise, prom, graduation, and my last summer before college that I would have hated to miss out on had I ended up taking my life.
I share my story because it’s exactly why I’m writing this. I experienced firsthand the process of recovering from suicidal thoughts, and it gives me the ability to say that it really does get better. You’ve heard it before, but it’s true. It takes time, and it takes effort, but your story isn’t over. You have so many great things ahead, and you deserve to be alive to see those great things happen.
Section 2: Signs To Be Aware Of
Now that we’ve talked about my story, I want to touch on ways you can help somebody else or even recognize your own feelings. An important part of playing a role in someone’s journey, or your own journey overcoming suicidal thoughts, is being able to recognize the signs of thinking about taking one’s life. I’ve broken the signs to look out for into 3 categories: Actions someone with suicidal thoughts might make, things someone feeling suicidal might say, and emotions someone might feel when feeling suicidal.
- Actions:
- Excess drug or alcohol usage
- Extreme exhaustion
- Avoiding activities
- Isolation from loved ones
- Saying goodbye to people
- Giving away possessions
- Acting more aggressive or irritable
2. Things said:
- Talk of death
- No reason to live
- Feeling hopeless
- Mentioning taking their life
- Others would be better off without them
- Lack of interest in/ no plans for the future
3. Emotions felt:
- Prolonged sadness
- Irritability
- Frustration
- Exhaustion
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Hopeless
- Trapped
- Numb
While these signs aren’t definitive, and just because someone close to you or you yourself feel or act in one of these ways does not undoubtedly mean they or you are suicidal, these signs give us a good guideline as to what to look out for. It’s important to be extra aware of the signs so that you can help or get help early in the stages of these signs.
Section 3: How To Get Help
Now that we’ve discussed some of the signs that you or someone you know is feeling suicidal, we can discuss options out there for mental health help.
UC Students:
CAPS: https://www.uc.edu/campus-life/caps.html
- After Hours Support/ Crisis Support: 513-556-0648
ABOUT: University of Cincinnati’s counseling and psychological services are available to all students. Go through the website to schedule an appointment or call 513-556-0648.
University Health Services: https://med.uc.edu/landing-pages/university-health/home
ABOUT: University of Cincinnati’s health services are available to all students.
Cincinnati Area:
Hamilton County Mental Health Crisis and Emergency Services: https://www.hcmhrsb.org/services/crisis-and-emergency-services/
- Mobile Crisis Team: 513-584-5098
- Psychiatric Emergency Services: 513-584-8577
- Crisis Stabilization: 513-558-8888
ABOUT: Cincinnati area-specific helplines and crisis centers in case of emergency.
Lindner Center of Hope: https://lindnercenterofhope.org/mental-heath-crisis-center/
ABOUT: Mental Health and addiction treatment center in Mason, OH.
Cincinnati City Resources:
https://www.cincinnati-oh.gov/health/chd-programs/behavioral-health
ABOUT: The city of Cincinnati’s page dedicated to mental health resources in the area.
General:
Call or Text: 988
ABOUT: National suicide hotline.
Crisis Text Line: 741-741
ABOUT: Talk to a live crisis counselor through text.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-4357
ABOUT: Nationwide treatment referral call center.
Mental Health America: https://mhanational.org/
ABOUT: Where to find community and local support for all things mental health.
FindTreatment: https://findtreatment.gov/
ABOUT: Where to find local treatment centers for mental health crisis.
conclusion
September is a month not only to reflect on the lives lost and affected by suicide, but a month to advocate for help, suicide prevention, and awareness. Suicide is not a battle anyone should ever have to face alone. Remember, there is always help out there for you. Don’t give up. Your story isn’t over. You don’t have to go through this alone.
