Content Warning: This article contains brief mentions of substance abuse, mental illness, and emotional abuse. The film contains depictions of severe depression, suicidal ideation, substance abuse, disordered eating, and emotional abuse. Please exercise care while reading.
Last week, I was sitting on my couch doing some schoolwork and decided to turn on the TV. I went on countless streaming platforms and couldn’t come to a decision on what to watch. I was browsing Amazon Prime when I came across the title Prozac Nation.
It immediately caught my attention. I’ve been struggling with my mental health recently, and I thought this movie could maybe make sense of what I was going through. While watching, I cried a lot, often having to pause and gather myself together before continuing. This movie was depicting exactly what I have been going through. I saw my mental health being perfectly portrayed.
Prozac Nation is based on the best-selling novel under the same name. Set in the 1980s, before the widespread use of antidepressants, it follows young journalist Elizabeth Wurtzel, played by Christina Ricci, during her freshman year at Harvard. It explores her struggle with mental health, sex, drugs, and an overbearing mother.
Elizabeth was awarded the College Journalism award for her article on Lou Reed in The Harvard Crimson. She was then chosen to write a piece on Bruce Springsteen for Rolling Stone. This causes her to go into a state where she didn’t sleep for days, drinks, and takes drugs to be able to write. Her friends get worried and bring her to a doctor, who then becomes her therapist.
She pushes away her friends time after time, especially her roommate, Ruby. She goes home to visit her mom, and her grandparents come over. She starts drinking and smoking heavily, and her grandparents are horrified at what she has become.
The next day, she fights with her mom. By that, I mean she screams something mean at her mom, then apologizes, then screams something else, then apologizes again: a typical outburst from someone with BPD. This is when it started getting too relatable, and I broke down.
She starts seeing this boy and develops a relationship, immediately self-sabotaging the only relationship that made her feel safe. Cut the cameras, because this is starting to look like a biopic of my life.
Having a mental illness and not knowing how it looks to others is hard, especially in college. There’s a scene where Elizabeth is with Ruby, and she starts acting out, saying some really harsh stuff. Ruby starts crying and says, “Lizzie, I’m not crying cause you’re mean. I just can’t imagine how incredibly painful it must be to be you.” Let’s all just take a moment and appreciate the depth of this quote. I got a sense of clarity from it that no movie quote has ever given me. I was finally able to understand.
Being mentally ill during your college years, when they are supposed to be “the best years of your life,” is honestly draining. And yet, most of us deal with it. You think you’re alone, but you never are. There is someone going through the exact same thing you are. Reach out and get help.