In our current society, technology is at the wheel, and we are all reaching for the grab bar. As the digital world grows and evolves, humans appear to be doing the opposite. Think about how many disturbing things you scroll past each day. Think about how easy it is for you to scroll past a video you don’t want to see. Think about how effortless it is to pretend nothing is wrong in the world.
I often wonder if the rise of technology and social media is harming our ability to feel and empathize the way we once did. Isn’t it terrifying to imagine becoming the robots we are so dependent on?
Our social media feeds are curated specifically for us. They show us what we like and filter out what we don’t. As a result, we each live in our own personal echo chamber, reinforcing our own opinions and scrolling past anything that challenges them. Sherry Turkle, a professor at MIT, discussed this phenomenon on the American Psychological Association’s podcast “Speaking of Psychology.” She explored how constant connection online may be chipping away at our empathy and weakening human relationships.
“In this country, certainly we need to learn how to talk to people we don’t agree with,” Turkle said. “In the metaverse, we can just silo ourselves, and that’s what’s happened. People choose the community in the metaverse, where they agree with everyone around.”
If we are only exposed to views that affirm our own, we risk conditioning ourselves to ignore discomfort and avoid difficult and vulnerable conversations. Over time, we lose the ability to disagree respectfully and engage productively. That loss increases public discourse while weakening our personal relationships.
“It turns out that even having a phone on the table face down makes the two people in the conversation feel less empathic towards each other,” Turkle said. “The phone is turned off, and it’s face down. It’s because the presence of the phone reminds you of all the other places you could be.”
Technology has made us constantly reachable, which sounds fantastic in theory. In practice, however, it creates endless distractions. Instead of focusing on the friend across the brunch table or the family gathered for dinner, we are constantly thinking of unanswered texts, unseen posts and unread emails. The result is divided attention and less meaningful connections.
How many times have you spoken to someone scrolling through their phone, only to realize they are no longer listening? How many times have you done the same? How often have you sent a text when a face-to-face conversation would have been better? Individually, these moments seem harmless. Collectively, they reshape our habits and loosen the ties that bind us. The more immersed we become in our digital lives, the easier it is to drift away from the people who are standing right in front of us.
So how can we stop this quiet descent into robot life? The answer is pretty simple, though not always easy: Put the phone away.
Turkle offers practical boundaries: “No texting at mealtime, no texting when you’re cooking, no phones at the dinner table, no phones when you’re out.”
Creating intentional phone-free spaces allows us to deepen our connections and truly listen to and empathize with those around us. With our devices out of sight, we are more likely to listen fully and respond thoughtfully.
We don’t have to abandon technology completely, but we do need to reclaim our control over it. We need to own it, instead of letting it own us. By prioritizing real-life connections instead of our screens, we learn how to be human again. Most importantly, we learn how to care again.
Read or listen to Sherry Turkle on “Speaking of Psychology” here.
Read my article on putting down your phone here.