I’ve heard it a million times: 21 days make a habit stick. And somehow TikTok took that and said, let’s make a challenge for literally every number of days and call it wellness. 21 Hotter. 30 Soft. 75 Hard. 90 This. Reset That. At this point, these constant wellness challenges feel less like self-care and more like discouragement waiting to happen.
Don’t get me wrong — I’m the target audience. I’m a 23-year-old grad student trying to look and feel my best before graduation this May. I’m inspired by these challenges, and it’s the new year: I love a fresh start, a checklist, a “this is my era” moment. But the commitment can be brutal. Miss one workout? One day of perfect eating? Suddenly, it’s time to start over, and there goes your motivation, confidence, and belief that balance is even allowed. These challenges preach discipline, but they quietly punish being human.
What finally clicked for me is that wellness shouldn’t feel like a pass/fail exam. I feel confident now in the rules I’ve set for myself because they’re rooted in realism — maintaining a healthy lifestyle, not controlling it. And most importantly, having the grace to try again without spiraling. Yes, these habits are great in theory: movement, hydration, consistency. But according to Psychotherapist Natalie Capano, yoga therapist Sarah DeBlock, and Health & Wellness Coach Sabrina Ritchie, when everything is framed as an all-or-nothing challenge, it stops building habits and starts building burnout.
What is the 21 Hotter Challenge?
Coined by TikTok creator Monet McMichael, the 21 Hotter Challenge is a three-week personal habit plan designed to help you feel hotter — inside and out. After attempting 75 Hard last spring and not being happy with the results (feeling like she failed when she wasn’t able to make it all the way through), McMichael made it her mission to find a challenge that actually worked for her. And this one focuses on realistic balance, a healthy lifestyle, and the grace to try again — all through six simple rules. She claims it “genuinely changed my quality of life over the past year.”
Noting how previous personal challenges are super strict and often have “insane standards,” McMichael wanted to create a version that was much more manageable and shorter to complete, since it’s not a full month. The “rules” are these: get ready for the day (full glam, out of your PJs, bun or hair done), move for 45 minutes (walks, workouts, yoga, stretching, whatever gets you going), no cheat meals and no alcohol (make thoughtful, balanced choices), journal every day (even a page counts), limited to no screen time (set device boundaries), and self-care before bed (wash your face, shower, facials, or gua sha).
Since Monet posted the 21 Hotter TikTok in early January, it’s clearly struck a chord. Her video has racked up almost 225K likes and over 950K views. And she isn’t the only one talking about it — fans in the comments, including Love Island’s Chelley Bissainthe, are jumping in on the viral moment. Some are joking about trying it “next month,” while others are fully committing and sharing their progress. The challenge hashtag and “21 Hotter” clips have been popping up across TikTok, with creators documenting their own attempts, swapping tips, and tagging friends to join in on the trend.
While McMichael’s challenge focuses on manageable habits for those seeking balance, experts note that not all programs work the same for everyone. “Popular habit challenges are designed to create consistency through daily, structured behaviors and accountability, which can accelerate habit formation for highly motivated individuals,” Ritchie tells Her Campus. “They tend to work best for people who already have a foundation of self-discipline and clear goals, as the intensity can be overwhelming for beginners.”
Popular habit challenges often do more harm than good
Challenges like 75 Hard or 30 Soft promise dramatic transformation, but more often than not, they reward perfection over progress. You’re expected to follow every rule flawlessly — hit every workout, drink exactly the right amount of water, never eat a “cheat” meal. Miss one day, and suddenly it feels like the whole thing is ruined. The problem is, this approach doesn’t really build habits; it builds guilt. According to Capano, “These challenges may not be helpful for people who are ambivalent about making the change, and they can sometimes induce feelings of guilt or shame if you’re not fully onboard with the vision.”
Additionally, these all-or-nothing programs can trigger anxiety and shame, making it harder to stick to healthy routines long-term. Ritchie notes, “Physically, extreme programs can increase risk of injury or burnout, and mentally, they may trigger guilt or discouragement if participants miss days or can’t meet rigid standards.”
You might “win” the challenge, but at the cost of your mental energy and self-esteem.
You might “win” the challenge, but at the cost of your mental energy and self-esteem. “Habit challenges like 75 Hard can be motivating for some people, especially those whose nervous systems are already relatively regulated and who thrive on structure,” says DeBlock. “However, for individuals in a chronic fight-or-flight state, these programs can be counterproductive, often triggering self-judgment, rigidity, or feelings of failure when perfection isn’t maintained.”
And without any support or flexibility, that initial momentum can fizzle quickly. “When there’s a strict timeframe and zero ongoing support or structure afterwards, many people tend to fall off after they hit their short-term goal,” Capano continues. That’s why so many people start these challenges full of energy and enthusiasm… and quit within the first week. College students, especially, know this struggle. Between late-night studying, unpredictable schedules, and social events, it’s nearly impossible to hit perfection every day. When a challenge feels like a punishment instead of a support system, it stops being motivating and starts feeling impossible.
These programs can be both empowering and discouraging
TBH, these challenges can be empowering, and even helpful. “Habit challenges can be great motivators to get you to try something new,” says Capano. “A lot of people enjoy having structure and accountability when changing behaviors, which these programs clearly offer.” For some people, following a challenge like 21 Hotter can be a mental spark, giving you that “yes, I’ve got this” feeling before a big exam, work presentation, or just daily college life. And there’s something satisfying about checking off a box, seeing progress, and knowing that you’re investing in yourself.
But these programs can quickly become discouraging if you’re chasing perfection. And social media doesn’t help. Scrolling through TikTok highlights of people crushing workouts, drinking green smoothies, and actually having the time to journal in candlelight can make anyone feel like they’re failing. Missing one workout or eating a slice of pizza doesn’t mean you’ve failed the entire program, but the all-or-nothing framing of some challenges can make it feel that way.
It’s also important to recognize that life isn’t predictable. Late-night study sessions, birthday parties, group projects, or even mental health days can throw a challenge completely off-track. Programs that don’t account for flexibility risk making you feel like you’re constantly behind or “not enough.” That’s why the real power of any wellness program isn’t the rules themselves — it’s how you adapt them to your life. According to DeBlock, “Yoga philosophy reminds us that sustainable change lives in the middle ground — an 80/20 approach that allows flexibility and self-compassion rather than all-or-nothing thinking. While these challenges can create short-term momentum, long-term results tend to last longer when the focus of results shifts from external form or body ideals to internal function—how habits support calm, confidence, and overall well-being.”
If a challenge genuinely lights a spark of motivation and feels doable, go for it! Use it to experiment, discover what routines work for you, and celebrate your small wins. But if it stresses you out, makes you feel guilty, or just adds another layer of pressure to your already full plate, it’s 100% okay to skip it or modify the rules. A wellness challenge should serve you, not the algorithm or your FOMO.