I see myself in every shaky, off-putting freshman, see my stupid little mistakes reflected in their big eyes. I came in from high school thinking I knew what to do, plotting a hundred clubs, my beautiful part-time job and my sexy 16 credits. Everyone here knows it took at least halfway decent grades and accomplishments to get in. Everyone here has some kind of drive, an ambition of sorts. Perhaps–let me go so far as to say–maybe a pressure, sitting atop the back of your shoulders, across the bump on your neck that pops out when you hunch over your laptop screen. Maybe it’s self-imposed, maybe not. Maybe it’s money-related or expectation-built.
Regardless of reason, there’s a collective sense of hustle culture permeating the humidity-ridden air across campus. It’s like a ‘who’s busiest’ competition. A fear in the back of your skull or below your stomach that you’re not doing enough. That no matter whatever grades you get, what internships you acquire or what positions you can list on your resume… it won’t be enough to get you where you want to be. That fear doesn’t make you a better student. It just makes you tired. But it’s so hard to avoid it when you’re surrounded by it on social media and in real life.
Now, as a Catholic, I don’t want to reinvigorate our centuries-old hatred of Protestants, but there’s something to be said for that Protestant work ethic we’ve been conditioned to hold in America. This ethic maintained the idea that work was a way to praise God, and material success was a sign of his favor. It helped to secure capitalism’s role in our society, as well as promoted the push for the consistent and never-ending grind.
Many Americans don’t consciously do this now, but it has taken the form of the grand American Dream–the “pull yourself up by the bootstraps” idea, where you think that if you just work hard enough, you’ll make something of yourself.
We all know that we live in a different economic reality than our parents or grandparents did. We can’t have the same dreams of getting rich—or even of owning a house with a yard—that they had. I like to think about success more in terms of being able to live life while working, rather than working until you can finally live. Maybe that’s more realistic.
This type of endless working—this idea that if you take a break, you’ll fall behind—is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Exhaustion ages you. Burnout forces us to decay in our twenties, long before we’ve fully ripened. (I think my peak will be in my 40s, but we’ll see if I get there.) Unfortunately, rest is a necessity. It will take you if you don’t take it. Your LinkedIn connections are not worth sacrificing your health.
I struggled a lot in freshman year, insecurity forcing me to join a million things at once, while also realizing that I probably wasn’t going to maintain a 4.0 GPA forever. I ended up asleep for most of my second semester of college, passing out in my classes and again once I got home. I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do because I had overcommitted and failed. But it absolutely taught me to be more selective in my sophomore year, to join the things I really enjoy and want to be a part of, rather than just because I felt I should.
I love my peers who have incredible passion, high standards and ambitions to be someone incredible. But I also want them to love the sky at seven, when the sun is setting, and you wholeheartedly believe that Gainesville is beautiful, and no one can stop you from taking full, deep breaths. You can have both the discipline to succeed and a deep respect for your mind and body.
Some Thoughts to Consider:
1. Doing fewer things actually helps you: you can focus more time on individual commitments, show up to every event and secure a staple position. You can care more about what you’re spending your energy on and do your job well.
2. Be realistic with yourself: just because your roommate can take 18 credits and hold down a job doesn’t mean you need to be able to function at the same level. It’s okay to need more time for yourself—everyone has different capabilities. For me, being realistic meant not joining a club that I knew was going to meet when I would probably have work at my part-time job. That way, I didn’t feel stressed trying to work around my prior commitments.
3. Being tired and overwhelmed sucks—it’s not a flex to have gotten four hours of sleep and spent the entire day at Marston. Sometimes, you gotta do what you gotta do. But if you’re pulling that every day, you need to take a break. You’ve lost a lot of energy. You can’t do it forever.
To chill out and get back to normal, I recommend reading something not for class. Maybe try listening to a really good song? I heard the new Geese album is tight. Or scroll through Pinterest. Or going for a walk. Or a run! Most importantly, talk to your friends—the ones you’ve forgotten to because you’ve been so busy! The best version of you is the healthy one, not the one so stressed out that she lashes out at those around her. Take a beat. Take a breath.
Maybe the job market’s messed up. Maybe the English majors and the Computer Science majors will all end up as baristas at the same coffee shop. But burning out before we even get the chance to see the future is probably not going to help. Take care of yourself—and know that it’s okay to.