I’m going to preface this by saying I’m not an expert at balance, not even close — I meant to start writing this about a week ago, so that should tell you everything. But that’s okay! I’m here to be real and down to earth with you, so I’ll share what does and doesn’t work for me, no matter how weird it sounds.
Some days, living with ADHD makes me feel like I’m the most productive human alive. I can take on the world and finish my entire to-do list before lunch. Other days, all I want to do is curl up in bed with my phone and a pile of snacks.
I was diagnosed with ADHD late in high school. Growing up, I was labeled “gifted,” so the fact that I couldn’t focus never seemed like a big deal because I still got good grades. Once school got harder, I couldn’t just “figure it out” anymore, and that’s when I was diagnosed. Since then, I’ve learned that balance looks a little different for me, and that’s okay.
Between school, work, relationships, and keeping a social life, my brain feels like it runs a million miles a minute. I’m only now starting to figure out what actually works for me and what doesn’t.
For me, ADHD feels less like chaos and more like constant motion, even when I’m doing nothing. It’s a mix of being hyper-aware of everything but zoning out at the same time. I know exactly what needs to get done, but I can’t decide where to start. Sometimes I’m so locked in on one task that I forget everything else, then five minutes later, I can’t even focus long enough to text back. I used to think I was lazy, but now I know my brain just needs a different kind of motivation.
When it comes to school, ADHD makes things interesting. I always say I’m good at school, but I don’t like it. I love learning, but the way it’s taught doesn’t click with my brain. I’m more of a hands-on learner than a visual or auditory one. I can go from fully focused in a lecture to zoning out in seconds, and sometimes, I have to reread the same paragraph five times before it sticks. It’s not that I don’t want to do well, I just get overwhelmed.
I’ve tried every planner, app, and productivity method out there, but the one thing that actually helps is my little to-do notebook. I carry it everywhere and write down anything I think of. I don’t start a new page until I finish everything on the last one. I’ve also learned to romanticize studying. If I go to a cute café with pretty stationery and a couple of drinks, I trick myself into being productive. I feel like I’m “cosplaying” as the mysterious studious girl, and somehow it works. Productivity looks different for everyone, and I’ve learned that both the super-productive days and the slower ones count.
ADHD doesn’t go away when I clock in for work. I work in a restaurant, and when it’s busy, I’m thriving. I can hyperfocus, multitask, and get into a flow. But the second things slow down, my focus disappears and I’m standing there thinking about what to eat on my break. Music helps a lot, because when it’s quiet, my brain starts drifting. Working in a fast-paced environment actually taught me a lot about myself. I learned that I function best under pressure and that I’m capable of handling chaos. I might forget where I put my pen every five minutes, but once it’s go time, I’m unstoppable.
One of the hardest parts of ADHD isn’t just managing school or work, it’s learning how to communicate. Sometimes, I zone out mid-conversation and feel guilty because I was listening, my brain just wandered off. Other times, I start texting someone back, get distracted, and realize three days later I never sent it. It can make relationships tricky because people don’t always get that it’s not intentional. I’ve learned to be more open about it and just say what’s going on instead of shutting down. Even if I’m forgetful or scattered, my intentions are always real.
For a long time, I thought balance meant doing everything perfectly. Now, I know it’s just about finding what keeps me grounded. Some days, balance means getting all my work done and cooking a real meal. Other days, it means remembering to drink water and rest. I journal when my thoughts get too loud or record voice notes when I can’t focus enough to write. Keeping my space semi-clean helps me think, and I’ve realized that rest isn’t laziness, it’s necessary.
If there’s one thing my ADHD has taught me, it’s that balance doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. I’ve stopped trying to catch up with everyone else and started moving at my own pace. My brain just takes a different route, sometimes the scenic one, but it still gets me where I need to go.
If you’re also trying to figure out how to balance life with ADHD, you’re not alone. You’re not lazy, and you’re not broken. Your brain just works differently, and that’s not a bad thing. Give yourself credit for what you manage, even when it feels small. You don’t have to have it all together to be doing great. If balance means being myself, flaws, focus issues, and all, then maybe I’m already there.