Before moving across the state for college a little over a year ago, I never realized just how much time I spent surrounded by people. At home, there was always someone around: my dad, my sisters, or childhood friends. I relied on them more than I knew, not just for company but for a sense of comfort and belonging.
Coming to college alone was an eye-opening experience. For the first time, I was forced to build a life from scratch without having the safety net of a built-in social circle. I’ll never forget those first few months of awkwardly sitting in the dining hall by myself and taking several-hour-long evening walks to Lady Bird Lake because I didn’t know what else to do with my time. The city felt massive compared to my farm town, and the anonymity it brought was suffocating.
At first, I thought my loneliness was something I just needed to push through and rush to make friends. But over time, those solo evenings by the lake and quiet meals began to feel less like a void and more like a safe space. I began to notice how peaceful it was to walk while enjoying the sights of the city and to be alone with my thoughts. Slowly, I realized there was nothing wrong with spending time by myself. I could be alone without being lonely.
Like many incoming college students, I assumed I had to immediately find that stereotypical huge friend group to whisk me away to parties, and I felt pressure to start dating right away. My experience was nothing like that. Instead, I spent many hours alone: exploring coffee shops, wandering through neighborhoods, and experiencing Austin on my own terms. These solo adventures made me appreciate the city in a way that never would have been possible had I not found the confidence to do it alone.
A few months into my freshman year, long after I became comfortable with solitude, I found some amazing friends. But that never stopped me from taking time for myself. I still go on walks and discover coffee shops solo, only now it’s by choice, not necessity.
Learning to be independent and comfortable by yourself is a vital part of growing up. It isn’t always easy to make genuine connections in college, especially at first, but I learned how to turn my situational solitude into something positive. Wherever life takes me next, I am sure I won’t have to do it alone, but I’ll have the confidence to choose to.