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CU Boulder | Wellness > Mental Health

Sisyphus And I

Rodayna Eissa Student Contributor, University of Colorado - Boulder
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at CU Boulder chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Greek mythology tells the story of a king who was condemned to eternally push the same boulder up a hill only for it to roll back down once he reaches the top. Writer Albert Camus used this myth to illustrate the human condition. Now, he used it to say that life is an absurd cobble of repetition—definitely no panic spiral in that train of thought—but I think it’s better used to illustrate the human ability to persevere. And if there’s one thing that takes an ungodly amount of perseverance, it’s battling with a, as my therapist likes to put it, “neuro-spicy” brain and the struggle with mental health. 

There’s something to be said about the ability of the human brain to be truly the cruelest enemy to itself. People can be cruel to each other, sure, but—at least speaking from personal experience—your number one enemy is usually yourself. No one is more capable of hitting the right nerve, kicking the right insecurity, pushing all the right buttons than your own mind. 

Grappling with mental health is an intensely personal experience. It’s easy to forget that, no, you’re not on your own struggling through these things. No, you aren’t crazy, and no, you’re not just being dramatic. I’ve struggled with a cocktail of different issues that have had countless impacts on every facet of my life, yet I spent years vehemently refusing to even attempt any sort of professional support. 

I can’t count how many times my mom demanded an explanation as to why looking for professional help with mental health is so different from getting help for a broken leg or taking Advil for headaches. “If you break your leg, would you go to the doctor or just wait for it to fix itself?” she’d ask, clearly exasperated and entirely over my circular responses that usually consisted of something along the lines of, “It’s just different!” and shutting the conversation down. It took me a long time to accept that maybe she was right. 

Choosing to take medication for my depression and anxiety, agreeing to finally be honest with my doctor, pushing myself into therapy, and acknowledging that these things I was dealing with were real and not a silly little joke, had me feeling like Sisyphus pushing that boulder up his hill. If I’m being entirely honest, that feeling has never really gone away, even with all of the steps I’ve taken. Mental health is an uphill battle and, unfortunately, it’s never linear. You’re bound to stumble and roll back down the hill every now and then. That downhill tumble can be the most disheartening, exhausting, infuriating thing. It’s easy to want to give up and succumb to the voices. The choice to go back up the hill over and over and over again feels near impossible more often than not. 

Whether it’s situational, chemical, or just a side effect of being human, struggling with mental health is not and will never be easy. My one piece of advice that I wish I’d listened to way earlier is this: meds and therapy do not make you weak. You’re literally human, and you can’t, and most importantly, don’t have to, do it all alone. Take it from me, it sucks. Like, really, really sucks. Try every option in front of you, and if they fail, try again. I can tell you I went through about four different therapists and three different medications before I found something that helps.

In the moments when everything fails—the meds, the therapy, journaling, and all that jazz—because they absolutely do sometimes, it can be easy to forget that you’re allowed to take a moment, sit at the bottom of the hill, glare daggers at the sh*tty boulder you’ve been pushing, and stew a little. As much as I would love to tell you otherwise, I fear there’s no make-the-problems-go-poof-forever solution. Life can be a real sh*t show sometimes, and the mess can often be entirely out of your control. Do what you need to do for yo. Existing is hard; don’t make it harder on yourself than it needs to be. Unlike Sisyphus, you can take a moment to lean on those who care about you and ask for help; there’s no reason to grapple with the boulder on your own.

Rodayna Eissa

CU Boulder '26

Rodayna Eissa joined the Her Campus CU Boulder chapter as a contributing writer in the Fall of 2024. Her areas of interest as a writer include entertainment and media–particularly in regards to the movie industry–mental health, creative writing, and politics. As a reader and writer, she is a staunch defender of the oxford comma. She has worked as a bookseller and barista for over three years now. Rodayna is in her final year at the university where she is pursuing a pre-law degree in International Relations with a focus on the region of the Middle East and Africa.

When she’s not writing, Rodayna can usually be found indulging in one too many cups of coffee while hiding with a book, building legos, spending time with her family and friends, or rewatching Star Wars for the millionth time.