I was scrolling through Instagram one night when I stumbled across a post by Norwegian content creator and influencer Maddie Borge. This specific post rated “how scary things [she’s] done alone were” and I was struck by the number of 0/10s there were in her carousel. In this specific post, she swam in the ocean in Cinque Terre at sunrise, walked along the Brooklyn Bridge at 6am, and stayed in a treehouse in Bali, among many other activities. “Moral of the story,” she wrote in her caption, “no one cares that you’re alone! Go out and live your best life.”
In general, Maddie’s platform features countless reels and posts about her not-so-scary solo dates all around the world—in London, Italy, Bali, you name it, she’s been there. Whether it’s making personalized jewelry in Sydney or having a productive library sesh, scrolling through her page and seeing post after post about her frankly incredible solo dates got me thinking. What if I tried a solo date? I have nothing to lose, right?
And oh my gosh, I’m so glad I did. While I get into the nitty-gritty details about the benefits of taking yourself out on a solo date below, I can safely say that solo dates are now a part of my weekly routine. Without fail, I try to take myself on different solo dates each week, shaking things up depending on what I have scheduled. And yes, before you ask, there’s a separate calendar (with its own color) on my GCal, so I make sure I’m actively prioritizing this time with myself. And with finals coming so soon (really, the last thing I want to be thinking about is long cram nights at the Rock), I thought it’d be the perfect opportunity to introduce you to something that’s changed the way I think about the word solo.
WHAT IS A SOLO DATE?
Boiled down, a solo date is exactly what it sounds like. It’s an engagement, a rendezvous if you will, with yourself. Beyond the explosion of content on TikTok or Instagram with #solodate, solo dates have become more popular in recent years. In fact, they have genuine psychological grounding as a way to regulate our nervous systems or even learn more about ourselves by getting out of our comfort zones without the “noise” of other people. TLDR; solo dates aren’t just trendy, they are beneficial in so many ways:
- They boost confidence.
Going out alone, whether it’s to a nearby coffee shop or browsing the shelves of the Brown Bookstore, teaches us that we’re capable of handling anything, even the small stuff that once seemed scary (like making a reservation for one at a restaurant—and no, I promise the hostess is not judging you). Bonus: When we’re alone, we start noticing the things we actually enjoy. Maybe it’s a specific type of syrup in my latte or the way that the light filters through the trees on the Main Green at a specific time of day (Brown’s campus is so gorgeous omg) that aren’t dictated by current trends on our Instagram or TikTok FYPs. And once we identify these likes (and dislikes) we have the confidence to put them into practice. - They improve emotional regulation.
A study by Christopher Long and James Averill for the Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour shows that people who regularly spend time alone are better at managing stress and anxiety, not to mention that they increase creativity by “engag[ing] in activities or thoughts we find intrinsically interesting.” I don’t know about you, but that’s definitely needed for finals, especially with all the work that’s piled up in Canvas over these last 2 weeks. - They nurture independence.
Solo dates teach us that we don’t have to wait for fulfillment through romantic (or platonic) relationships, our future careers, or exactly following the 5-year plans we made at the beginning of freshman year. It’s something we can each build for ourselves, right here, right now.
And finals szn? That’s when solo dates are absolutely and critically non-negotiable. A 15-minute coffee run without your laptop? Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Just visit one of the many cafes that we have in and around campus. I’m currently a big fan of a Blue Room iced vanilla latte with oat milk (even though the new lids spill everything everywhere…). A quick solo RISD Museum stroll (it’s free for Brown students) to refresh your brain and inspire your mind before crushing that 10-page paper? Instant academic weapon energy.
Spending intentional time with ourselves also levels us up. The secret to becoming that girl begins with us, inside each and every one of us. Becoming that girl isn’t about being perfect 100% of the time, but present. It’s important to remember, though, that being present is a choice that we have to make every day. It’s how we build confidence, sharpen our intuition, and learn what truly lights us up.
HOW DO I MAKE SOLO DATES LESS…AWKWARD?
Say it with me: solo dates are only as awkward as you make them. I promise you, no one is judging you if you walk into a store alone and browse the racks of clothing on the wall or if you snag a chair on the Main Green and relax for a few hours. And if they are, who cares?
The truth is, most people (whether at Brown or beyond) are way too focused on themselves to even notice what you’re doing. But if you’re still a bit nervous, just start small. Take yourself out for coffee and journal for 10 minutes. Go for a walk without music and just exist. Try a new workout or machine at the Nelson with both headphones in. Once I realized how freeing it was to move through the world on my own terms (on my own time and at my own pace), the awkwardness about the idea of being “alone” faded and was replaced by a kind of quiet power.
If you’re unsure about where to start, I’ve put together a list of 10 solo date ideas around Providence that I’ve done (or are planning to do in the next few weeks). Feel free to steal these, adapt them, and bring them with you wherever you end up going for summer!
10 SOLO DATE IDEAS AROUND PROVIDENCE
Whether you have two hours or just 20 minutes between back-to-back office hour review sessions, here are some solo date ideas that are perfect to decompress from the stress of finals or to enjoy the last remnants of spring 2025:
- Solo Coffee Shop Crawl
With dozens of coffee shops on College Hill and in Downtown Providence, there’s no shortage of options! Whether you’re thinking of staying locally and grabbing a Vietnamese Shaken Espresso at Hazel Origins or walking down the hill for an iced spiced chai latte and Croque Madame at Ellie’s, be sure to grab your favorite book or journal and bounce between a few cafés. If there’s outdoor seating, definitely choose to sit on the patio and soak up that beautiful springtime sun. Finals treat = definitely earned. - Sunset picnic
For me, there’s no better place to watch the sun set over the Providence skyline than Prospect Terrace Park. While it’s a beautiful place to sit in general (late summer picnic anyone?), this time of year is especially beautiful with the cherry blossoms! Pack your favorite snacks and a cozy blanket in your favorite tote bag and watch the sky do its thing!
- Table for one? Right over here!
New challenge: find a restaurant in Providence that you’ve never been to and pretend you’re a food critic. Order a cute little drink, an appetizer, a main, and dessert and rate the full meal out of ten. Experience and ambience add bonus points to the final rating. At the end of the night, maybe you’ve found your new fav spot that you can bring your friends or that you can gatekeep until you have the chance to say “Wait! I know a place…” - Soak up ALL the time on the Main Green that you can!
This last week has quite literally been the epitome of what it means to be a Brown student, with clear blue skies that would make LA jealous and temperatures in the 70s all week long. The spring Brown routine on the green includes spike ball in the morning, a Blue Room picnic at lunch, a recreation of an ancient Egyptian battle in the late afternoon, and Gigs at the Green at night—what more could you ask for? Make sure that you spend at least one day lounging around on the green, reading your favorite book or just people-watching.
- Curate a spring playlist that’ll have you feeling like you’re in a coming-of-age movie
I’m unapologetic about admitting that I currently have over 50 playlists on Spotify… Yet, each playlist that I have fits the vibe just perfectly, especially my current spring one! Since my junior year of high school, I’ve been compiling seasonal playlists that continue to grow longer with each new song I discover at a cafe, a friend mentions a new artist they’ve started listening to, or a student artist at Brown releases a new album. Laugh at your old favs, find new music that you like, or even reminisce about your rewind playlists (what was I listening to in 2020?). Besides, it’s also so much fun to search through Pinterest for the perfect playlist cover photo! - Join a Pilates class
Something I’ve definitely been prioritizing as the weather gets warmer are those early mornings when I can book a Pilates class and spend 50 uninterrupted minutes channeling my inner Pilates princess. (The Pilates classes at the Nelson are free for Brown students, fyi!) Also, it feels so good to get my workout done in the morning and then beat the crowd at Ivy Room for a smoothie. - Muse Paintbar night
This has been something on my Brown/PVD bucket list for so long! Everyone I know who has gone to Muse Paintbar for a painting night has had wonderful things to say about it, and what can beat a weekend wine night that also doubles as a creative break? Costs for registration range from $35-50, depending on the class. A really cool class that I want to go to this week is the Paint Your Paint class next Wednesday…let’s hope I finish my final paper before then!
- Go on a walk!
Even though it sounds trivial, nothing beats the combo of fresh air, sunshine, and your favorite motivational podcast. Plus, moving your body is proven to reduce stress and anxiety, which is definitely needed this time of year. Ergo, hot girl walks are so in! With this beautiful weather, a 12-30-3 on the Nelson treadmill is definitely not the way to go. If you want to ensure you cover a certain distance, consider heading to Blackstone Boulevard Park for a scenic 2-mile track or sticking closer to the Providence River Walk for stunning city views. - Vision board + mocktail night
While you can’t necessarily prep a bubble bath in the communal dorm bathrooms (if you have an apartment with a tub, what are you waiting for?) but self-care isn’t just bubbles in the bath and a nice-smelling candle. Put on a facemask, make a cute mocktail, and make a summer vision board with all the things you want to do before we move back in again in August. Bonus points if you turn on Netflix in the background!
- Buy yourself flowers! (Because Miley said we could…)
When spring rolls around, you will always find me at the Trader Joe’s flower aisle. I’m obsessed with their gorgeous selection of flowers and make sure that I never leave the store without one—there’s currently a vase with white lilies on my desk as I write this! They have everything from pre-arranged bouquets to planted bulbs (I want to buy them all), all of which are perfect for your flower-arranging sesh. Buy a bunch of your fav flowers and then arrange them in a bouquet that will have your dorm room smelling absolutely incredible for the next 2 weeks.
In a post-pandemic world where burnout is real and being in our “healing girl eras” is practically a brand, people started to rethink what it really means to take care of themselves. Solo dates have become a radical act of self-prioritization and self-care—a way to pull away from American hustle culture and hyper-connectivity, and instead reconnect with the most important relationship we will ever have in our lives: the one with ourselves. Solo dates are more than just aesthetic moments for Instagram (although, no judgment if you snap a pic and post it to your story). They become a mantra that we ought to repeat every morning in front of the mirror: I am worthy of love, attention, and celebration—starting with me.
So what are you waiting for? Book that reservation. Buy those movie tickets. Dress up because you want to, and for yourself, not because anyone else is watching. Solo dates are not just about romanticizing life, they’re about owning it.
The relationship we foster with ourselves sets the tone for everything else that we will inevitably encounter in life. The secret to being in tune with ourselves is understanding ourselves, and a solo date is the perfect way to get in touch with that. So if you’re heading into that massive orgo or econ final, writing a 10-page paper on the most obscure topic known to man, moving to a new city for a summer internship, or thinking about a life post-grad (congrats to the class of 25!), don’t forget: You deserve your own time. And honestly? You’re pretty great company if I do say so myself.