You know what they say: “you have to love yourself first before you can love someone else.” Whether or not you ascribe to this tenant, there is validity to getting to know yourself on a deeper level and determining your likes, dislikes, and passions. While it’s easy to cringe at the word “self-love,” caring for your own well-being and cultivating your own sense of happiness is important; the longest relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. Dating yourself is a great way to begin this relationship, whether it’s journaling or eating a solo meal. Confused about where to start? Scroll down for eight ways to begin.
- Identify What YOU Like
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As college students, our schedules can easily fill up with classes, social commitments, and long lists of to-dos, leaving us little room to discover hobbies and genuine interests. Start your dating journey by taking the time to discover what you are truly passionate about. Step outside of your comfort zone by trying a pottery class, going to a yoga studio, putting on some boxing gloves and testing out kickboxing, or ordering some seeds and starting a garden.
- Start a Journal
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An essential part of dating yourself is forming a relationship with yourself. Journaling offers an opportunity for self-reflection, which is crucial to getting to know yourself on a deeper level.
- Engage in Positive Self-Talk
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All too often, we speak to ourselves with a hyper-critical or even mean tone. Whether it’s standing in front of the mirror or taking an exam, our inner critic can be loud. Essential to building a healthy relationship with yourself is speaking to yourself as you would speak to a close friend: with kindness and compassion. Instead of “I’m a failure,” say: “I am trying my best and that’s all I can do right now.”
- Buy Yourself Flowers
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Flowers are typically reserved for gifts or special occasions, but there is no rule that says you can’t treat yourself to their beauty on a normal day. Although you may think it’s selfish or silly to treat yourself to a bouquet, everyone deserves flowers. Buying the flowers shows yourself that you are worth the extra effort and care.
- Cook yourself a Fancy Meal
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Nourishing yourself with a delicious meal is the ultimate act of self-care. On a free night, light some candles, put on a fun playlist, and cook yourself a meal you normally wouldn’t take the time to make for yourself. Set the table, sit down, and savor the meal.
- Dress for Yourself
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When it comes to fashion, it’s easy to dress for others, fall into trends, or simply resort to sweatpants and loungewear for convenience. We underestimate the ability of clothes to cultivate self-confidence and emphasize individuality. Go through your closet and identify clothes that make you feel beautiful. Whether it’s a trusty pair of jeans or a vibrant scarf, prioritize those when getting dressed.
- Celebrate your milestones
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Whether it’s an A on an exam or an offer from your top choice internship, there are plenty of opportunities to celebrate your wins. Buy yourself a sweet treat, have a spa night, or treat yourself to a nice dinner out. Show yourself that your hard work deserves to be rewarded.
- Enjoy a solo meal at your favorite restaurant
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Eating a solo meal at a restaurant can be daunting for obvious reasons, but it can also be relaxing and freeing. Dress in your favorite outfit and take yourself on a special date, where you order what you want, linger as long as you like, people watch, and spend some quality time with yourself. Know that people are not looking at you as much as you think they are. If you get uncomfortable, bring a book or magazine to read or chat up your waiter. Don’t forget to order dessert!