I may have not been your first love, but you were always mine
I kept my emotions hidden, and I thought it’ll be fine
I destroyed my inner innocence by being infatuated with you,
I was foolish and immature, thinking you’ll be infatuated with me too.
We were kids and still growing to become adults one day
Those impaired unresolved emotions will disappear, I prayed
I got on my knees and cried to God to make the pain go away
I have to identify what is the problem in order for me to say
I’m sorry for the way how things happened between us
But I don’t regret the feelings that were merely expressed but never truly discussed
You were a part of my world and I know I was part of yours
but we couldn’t find each other’s paths because of the many detours
You and I faced so much trying to understand one another
In the end, we failed to admit that our love was like no other
We both lived different lives from each other, which has left me to wonder
Was it truly our differences that unleashed that relentless thunder
The heavy rain showers embody the reflection of my tears
While the lightning strikes from the heavens above had detected an unknown fear,
I lied to myself saying I can get over it since it’s really no big deal
It just takes time to process our last moment together after the drastic reveal
Healing is the word we all seek to stop the uneasiness
But no one has the time clock for when the antidote will cure this illness
The words your spirit has spoken to me still linger on, making me unsteady
“You’re not right for me right now, but I’ll let you know when I’m ready”
I’m afraid when you’re ready is the day I’ve finally given up
But I will always remember the spark I had with you that made me star-struck
Our love story is over and it’s time for me to move on and say goodbye
To my first love, always and forever, I wish you nothing but the best in this life
P.S. Thank you for being a chapter in my story
Yours truly,
~ Kailah