Tinder can already be a stressful app. When it comes to wondering if you picked the right pictures to showcase yourself to deciding whether or not your bio is interesting and clever enough, to wondering if you should be bold and make the first move this time. Think about all your worries, and light them on fire. That’s something like what a person who has anxiety feels when tindering. “Why don’t you stop, then?” You ask? Because, I don’t want to die alone, either! Duh. Here’s a few thoughts I have when deciding whether or not I should swipe left or right:
1. Is my bio funny? Am I funny? Will he wanna bang me based on my bio? Will he even read my bio?
2. He’s horny, I’m horny, but do I love myself?? Will I hate myself if I get down with him?
3. Is this just a booty call? Did I seduce him with my witty one liners and gifs? Does he wanna love me forever? And bake me cookies?
4. I WANT TO BE LOVED.
5. Why the fuh does he only have one picture?
6. Why the fuh does he look so much hotter in this picture than in the rest of them…?
7. Maybe all I deserve is a boy who has no idea how to take selfies.
8. A super like?? *heart eye emoji* Oh. Why do all the ugly ones super like me??
9. He uses so many ridiculous emojis in his bio. Do I only deserve a man who uses stupid emojis? Why are there so many 100 signs??
10. SH*T I ACCIDENTALLY SWIPED LEFT ON MY SOUL MATE. FOREVER ALONE.
‘Til next time, Tinder. Maybe a real fire will ignite during my next three hour class.