Does contorting your body in a variety of painful positions while in a humid room estimated to be around 99 degrees sound fun to you? Probably not. The first time I heard about hot yoga, I too was extremely skeptical of why anyone would be so masochistic as to subject himself to this torture. I still thought this (more adamantly, actually) the first time I took a class, but, somehow, I kept going and eventually fell in love with the practice… and the heat.
My thought process in an hour-long hot yoga class goes something like this…
· Walking into the studio: It’s so hot in here already. And it smells suspiciously like feet. Okay, I can handle this. I’m just going to be proactive and put my mat as far away from the heaters as possible in order to lessen the (high) probability of death.
· 5 minutes in: Sitting pretzel style and breathing deep breaths isn’t too hard! And this teacher is blasting great music. Maybe this will be fun.
· 10 minutes in: I’m totally rocking this first sequence. These yoga moms (who, somehow, are still in super good shape) have nothing on me! I’m already sweating, but that means I’m burning calories, right?
· 20 minutes in: Oh my god, my legs are on fire. Is it too early to go into child’s pose and quietly die? Probably…Wait, she’s telling us to do WHAT? That must be a sick joke, because that is physically impossible. Okay, I have to keep up; I am paying good money to take this class. Breathe, breathe, breathe.
· 30 minutes in: Wow, so this is what Satan feels like every single day in Hell. I’ve never had sympathy for the devil before (Cue Mick Jagger). I’ve lost all feeling in my body, so that’s a plus, but now I’m sweating in places I didn’t even know could sweat. Honestly, I had no idea that shins and forearms even had sweat glands. I feel like I’m sweating out all of my sins committed at Bates this semester. At least I’m not as sweaty as that shirtless old man in the back row.
· 45 minutes in: Praise pigeon pose. My legs literally feel like jelly right now. I have never been able to come close to doing a split before. Yet, I am so flexible from the heat, I just fell into it. Gotta love gravity.
· 50 minutes in: Inversion time. That’s comical. I’ll try to go upside down but I probably will never be able to get right side up. Oh wow, that lady in front of me is just chilling in a handstand. I feel awfully inadequate and non-athletic. Thank sweet Jesus, the teacher is turning the heat down. Maybe now sweat will stop getting in my eyes.
· 55 minutes in: Savasana is my favorite pose, obviously. “What is savasana?” you may ask. It’s when you lie like a murder victim on your mat and listen to a slow song and “reward yourself for your practice.” I absolutely deserve some reward after pushing my frail body to the brink after that class.
· Driving home: HELL YES! I FEEL LIKE I COULD TAKE OVER THE WORLD. (Punches steering wheel to demonstration newly-acquired brute strength) I feel amazing, that was amazing. I’m pretty much a stress-free and new person after that class. After drinking multiple water bottles to rehydrate myself, I can’t wait to do that all again tomorrow.
So, there you have it. Hot yoga is a paradoxical experience—you hate every moment of it, but at the same time, love it even more. All joking aside, benefits of yoga include increased flexibility and muscle strength, improved cardio, circulatory, and respiratory health, weight reduction, and a decrease in stress. Furthermore, practicing in a hot room detoxes the skin and body, deepens flexibility in poses, and improves breathing.
All of my fellow Batesies should try a hot yoga class and, even if you hate it, keep going. Soon enough, you’ll be hooked on both the pain and the amazing-ness, and become a hot yoga junkie like me.