I used to be promiscuous in high school, but since coming to college (I am a sophomore now) I have tried to change my image. Three months ago, I met my boyfriend, and now things are getting serious. He doesn't know anything about my past, but I am pretty sure I don't have STDs or anything. Do I have to tell him I have had other partners in the past before things get physical? -Reformed Party Girl
Everyone has a past. Including your boyfriend, who probably seems to you as sweet as can be, but you never know how he was in high school either.
I have this theory that even if you have the best of intentions and you are trying to be honest, it never does any good to get into the dirty details of high school late-nights, exes or flings. Those are things you tell your best friend the morning after, and never speak of again.
Would you want to hear about your boyfriend’s random hookups? Do you really want to know his “number”? Probably not, and he doesn’t want to hear yours either. Guys are very visual – and the only thing that would happen by you describing your old-self to him would be exactly that – visualization!
If you are actually having concerned about your health, go get tested as soon as possible. If there is something up, you do not want the entire world to know when your boyfriend goes blabbing. It would be better for you to find out now, then him (and you) later on.
I want a relationship, but there is no one I really like at the moment. I am physically attracted to one guy, but I know he is not the right one for me. Is it wrong to just hook-up with him, while I wait for "the one"? He may or may not have a girlfriend, but he hooks up with other girls all the time.
Isn’t it normal to want to occupy your time when you are waiting on something? Sure, you really want a relationship, but there’s nothing wrong with occupying yourself while you wait, right?
If you know that this hot guy isn’t “the one,” it should be easy for you to have hot, meaningless...fun with him. He apparently is already loose in the relationship that he has (or doesn’t have), so he is obviously willing to go for it. You have needs — and trust me, he does too.
You can’t be expected to stay cooped up like some nun until that momentous occasion where you meet your “destined one.” Let’s get real: who knows when that will ever happen.
Obviously if this guy “may or may not” have a girlfriend, he does and just doesn’t care, so why should you? In the immortal words of Mann ft. T-Pain, “Get it girl.” You’re single. Do you have any will power to push this good-looking guy away? No? That’s what I thought.
If you are okay with being just another notch in this guy’s belt, then go for it. There are obviously bigger self-esteem issues you need to work out before landing with the right guy and it would be better for you to get this out of your system now.
There are two sides to every story.
Over the summer my boyfriend and I were both doing internships in separate cities. We kept and in touch and Skyped all the time, but now we’re back at school, I just feel like things are slightly off. What can I do to rekindle the flame? Is it possible we fell out of love over the summer?
Sounds like you didn’t exactly have a blast.
I don’t think that you are in danger of breaking up. It’s easy to see how you two could have drifted apart over the summer — it was almost as if you were living two completely separate lives. You were present in different social circles and only existed together in a virtual sense, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
The first piece of advice I have is to sit down and talk about it. You don’t really know how he is feeling and it would be best for you to not jump to any conclusion without talking to him about it. Now that college has started, there is a lot of opportunity to hang out with friends and such, but don’t forget that you guys need to show each other some attention. Skype can only offer so much, if you know what I mean.
Take the time to get to know the “new yous” and rekindle your relationship. Chances are, if you survived the summer apart while staying together, you both want to be together and, chances are, will be really happy with how you both have grown.