I write about sex, and sex toys, a lot. However, even I get anxious about someone accidentally opening up my mail to see a giant hot pink dildo, or my roommate stumbling upon the obnoxious packaging of my newest intimate purchase in our kitchen trash can. If anything, it’s a courtesy thing. That’s the beauty of vibrators with discreet packaging — it’s like IRL incognito mode.
Here’s a little story: when I was a senior in college, I lived in a casita behind the home of an old, sweet woman. Skipping over a bunch of minute details, one day, our mail got mixed up — and my hot pink vibrator ended up in her mailbox, not mine. It was easily the most uncomfortable experience of my life: having an elderly woman opening up a package, expecting something else, and coming face-to-face with a sex toy for the college kid living in her backyard. I shudder at the thought.
What was even worse was that, when she gave me the package, she apologized profusely— and her face was almost redder than mine. A feat. The toy wasn’t wrapped discreetly in the slightest — it was inside a clear plastic bag, which was then placed into a cardboard box. If the people who packaged this ever applied to be in the spy academy, they would flunk out in an instant.
To avoid awkward mail mishaps, it’s always best to order sex toys with discreet packaging. If you’re not sure where to start, don’t worry: I’ve compiled a list of 10 vibrators with discreet packaging that you can buy ASAP. Learn from my mistakes, bestie.
- Unbound zip
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For the beginners out there, this vibe from Unbound ($20, Unbound) is discreetly wrapped and ready for pleasure.
- Namii
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Not only is Namii’s (Biird, $119) packaging discreet, it’s absolutely beautiful. Trust me, it looks like some kind of fancy ornament box.
- Evii
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The Evii (Biird, $79) is wrapped just as beautifully as the Namii. Biird, you’re killin’ it.
- maude vibe
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maude constantly slays with their vibrators — especially the packaging for the vibe (maude, $49). It looks as if you’re opening a luxury skincare product, TBH.
- Heart SHaped Sucking Vibe
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This heart-shaped sucking vibe (Funzze, $30) is actually adorable. Perfect for V-day!
- Demi wand
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The Demi Wand (Bellesa, $69) is packaged beautifully and discreetly.
- Wearable vibrator
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Wearable vibes (Funzze, $26) allow you to go hands-free, so you can relax and indulge.
- unbound puff
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This suction toy (Unbound, $48) comes in discreet, but stylish, packaging. I kind of want to display it — it’s that pretty.
- maude drop
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The maude drop (maude, $49) is aesthetically pleasing and it comes in super discreet packaging.
- Unbound Pep
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Finally, the Unbound Pep (Unbound, $42) is wrapped in discreet packaging, so it’s for your eyes only. Trust me, this baby is about to get a lot of attention.
