I Stopped Listening To Sad Music For A Week & Here’s What Happened

My constant rotation of music includes “Apocalypse” by Cigarettes After Sex, “White Mustang” by Lana Del Rey, and “Reflections” by The Neighbourhood. Occasionally, “Privilege” by The Weeknd is thrown into the mix. My point is, I listen to a lot of sad music. I’ve made artists like Bon Iver, Novo Amor, and Billie Eilish the crux of playlists called “sad girl,” “angst,” and “romanticized female rage.” As an overthinker, I naturally started to wonder — what would happen if I just… stopped listening to sad music?

I’ll listen to sad music no matter what mood I’m in — happy, sad, angry, anxious. I could be having the time of my life out with my friends and still manage to play my “Tove Lo drunk” playlist on the way home. (What? A girl loves to ruminate.) But, apparently, there’s a reason why sad music is so comforting, says psychotherapist Clara Bossie. “Sad music can help you process those uncomfortable feelings.”

Sad music can evoke emotion, put our feelings into words, and provide validation when we need it most — even when we don’t know we need it. But, as someone who listens to sad music daily, 

I wondered if it was making me feel better, or just reinforcing anxious thoughts? So, I decided to blacklist sad music for a week to see how I felt. And, honestly? I was way less in my head.

Does sad music really make you sad?

There’s no doubt that music affects your mood. The minute I put on any form of TikTok edit music, for example,  I immediately feel 10 times more confident (just me?). And it’s no different when it comes to sad music. Sad music generally tends to make us feel cathartic, validated, and even safe. It helps us connect with our emotions.

Personally, I’ve always seen it as something aesthetic and comforting. Of course, throwing on a Cigarettes After Sex playlist is my go-to when I’m feeling down, but I’ll also listen to them late at night after a good day. And that’s just it — sad music doesn’t always put us in an uncomfortable mood, says Bossie. “Sad music reminds us that other people have experienced suffering just like us,” she says. Music can actually help you process uncomfortable feelings, leaving you feeling calm, grounded, and seen. “Sad music says ‘you are not alone’,” she says.

That said, this doesn’t mean it’s always the best thing for you to listen to at a moment in time. For example, if you’re stuck in a cycle of rumination and overthinking, it might reinforce those negative, repetitive thoughts. “It’s not about the music being happy or sad as much as it is about you understanding what you need in that moment,” Bossie says.

If you’re prone to feeling worse after listening to sad music, then chances are it’s not for you. Of course, that’s not to say you shouldn’t listen to it. Instead, it’s important to have balance, and ensure you’re listening to sad music because it’s the best thing for you at that moment — not the worst. “Listen to happy music when the goal is to motivate, distract, or practice the opposite action,” Bossie says. “For example, not wanting to get out of bed and using happy music to lift those covers off and get you going.”

I’ve been so used to listening to sad music that I stopped paying attention to how it made me feel on a daily basis. And truth is, I haven’t been feeling too great these past few weeks. I’ve found that I’ve been using sad music to validate negative thoughts and patterns instead of using it to heal.

So, I decided to lock in.

I stopped listening to sad music for a week

For a week straight, any time a sad song or sad song-adjacent happened to queue on my Spotify, I skipped it. Was it hard? Yes. But honestly, the results are worth it. 

While I didn’t notice much of a difference in the first few days, I noticed that by day four or five I had overthought considerably less. And, if you know me, you know that’s a big deal. I have a playlist called “late night”, which is full of slow, sad songs I put together for the sole purpose of ruminating and romanticizing my angsty life as I fall asleep.

So, instead of listening to The Tortured Poems Department for the millionth time on repeat, I threw on some happier Taylor Swift songs (“Delicate” has my heart right now). I made sure every song I listened to on my long walk to school, on my bus back from work, or as I wound down at night was upbeat and happy.

As a thought daughter, it felt weird using other genres of music as a place of comfort. But, over time, it became comforting in a different way. I would focus on more positive thoughts throughout my day. Not only that, but I slept more easily and woke up feeling more energetic (not sure if that’s related, but definitely worth noting!).

But the thing is — music isn’t meant to heal you. It’s simply a coping skill, says Bossie. “But any skill that we overuse can lose [its] luster after a while,” she says. “If you find that you are continually having uncomfortable feelings that hang out so long that they become a mood, you may need to dig a little deeper at the root cause.”

So, while I felt significantly better when I stopped listening to sad music, it doesn’t mean I’d feel that way inevitably. And the same goes for you. If you feel like you’re in a constant cycle of negative emotions, feelings, and thoughts, happier music might relieve that tension in the short-term, but not the long-term. 

That said, if you’re looking for a quick pick-me-up, there’s no harm in cutting out sad music for a few days to see how you feel. One thing I will say, though, is that I missed Lana Del Rey. But, honestly? I’d do it again.

• i tried it
• mental health
• wellness