When the time came for Allie, 21, to decide who she would live with in her off-campus apartment for her junior year, her choice could not have been more clear. “I would choose my best friend as my roommate a thousand times over,” she says. “Living together just brought a whole new dimension to our friendship. We learned to navigate the responsibilities of real adulting together, like grocery shopping and cooking actual meals, not just ramen.”
Allie had transferred to her university during her sophomore year and had been randomly assigned a roommate, who, lucky for her, would become her closest friend. “We clicked instantly on so many levels — from our taste in music to our weird sense of humor,” she shares. “She helped me feel at home in a place that initially felt so foreign, and soon enough, our dorm room became my favorite place on campus.”
So, when spring arrived and it became time to discuss living options for the fall, the two of them living together was a given. They settled on a four-bedroom unit on the outskirts of their campus, decorating it with fairy lights and plants. “It was so cozy and just perfect for us,” she says. “I’m so grateful I was able to live with her, truly.”
For Allie, living with her bestie is a dream. But for others? It can be a nightmare. Being in a less-than-ideal living situation does more than just fuel the group chat, it can impact your mental health as well. According to Her Campus’s 2025 Mental Health survey of over 500 Gen Zers, 27% say that their current living situation has had a negative impact on their mental health. And while you might think that living with your bestie will help your mental health, it might do the exact opposite.
Trinity, 22, decided to room with a close friend, carrying the same hopes as Allie had — and receiving the exact opposite outcome. “I couldn’t wait to move out, it was that bad,” she says.
At one point, we got so mad we didn’t even speak to each other — we just texted and refused to acknowledge the other’s presence.
Trinity, 22
What started as small disagreements turned into huge arguments about virtually anything — dishes, having people over, cleaning, bills, you name it. “At one point, we got so mad we didn’t even speak to each other — we just texted and refused to acknowledge the other’s presence,” she says.
The situation wasn’t at all what Trinity had anticipated. “It was like a side of her I hadn’t even seen until we started living together. I mean, I tried to solve things, but she would be so immature about everything, it was impossible. When our lease ended, it was like a huge weight off my shoulders,” she says.
So — to live with your bestie or not to live with your bestie — that is the question. How can you make sure a dreamlike scenario doesn’t turn into a raging nightmare? I spoke to Leeor Gal, LMFT, a therapist who specializes in group therapy practices, to find out more.
Living with a best friend can either be the best decision or the worst decision.
Leeor Gal, LMFT
“Living with a best friend can either be the best decision or the worst decision,” Gal tells Her Campus. “On the positive side, you have your best friend with you! It’s a constant built-in emotional support. There’s a potential for deepening the friendship, from sitting in silence watching TikToks next to each other, to sharing the most vulnerable moments with one another at 1 a.m.”
But Gal warns that it’s not all sunshine and rainbows, unfortunately. “Boundaries can be blurred sometimes, which can lead to arguments or mistrust (like borrowing a shirt without asking first). You might not have adequate space from one another after a disagreement, which can feel suffocating,” she says. “If one roommate feels they are being taken advantage of or aren’t considered, it can lead to major resentment.”
By establishing boundaries, you might be able to diminish feelings of resentment and save yourself any frustration in the future. “Just because you’re best friends, doesn’t mean you have to hang out all the time,” Gal says. “Create regular check-ins about what’s going on and how you’re feeling — sometimes we need someone to ask in order for us to feel safe expressing.”
Gal also emphasizes that talking to each other in person rather than over text is important in moments of conflict. “Things can often be misconstrued through text. Pause and take a breath before you react instead of responding,” she says. “Be honest, and do it in a kind way. Tone plays a big role here — it’s not always what we say, but how we say it. Then, focus on collaboration and repair.”