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School can be stressful, and sometimes yoga and a facemask simply don’t cut it. Take it straight from Danielle Bezalel, Master’s of Public Health candidate at Columbia University in the Department of Population and Family Health, and creator, producer, and host of The Sex Ed with DB Podcast, who believes that masturbation can be your secret weapon for unwinding. (You can listen to the podcast here on Spotify, SoundCloud, and Apple Podcasts!) Read on for her advice, and scroll on to shop our editor’s fave Sweet Vibrations toys.
Her Campus: In general, do you feel that self-pleasure should be considered part of a healthy lifestyle for a college student?
Danielle Bezalel: Absolutely! At some point in college, you may be sexually experimenting with a partner (or partners). If you engage with self-pleasure, you’re figuring out what does and doesn’t feel good for you, which eventually means you can work on communicating those thoughts and feelings to a partner or partners if and when you’re ready.
HC: What’s your advice to women trying to achieve orgasm for the first time?
DB: If you’ve never had an orgasm before (or you’re just not sure), that’s alright! They make it look so easy in the movies with the moaning and quickness of climax, but, spoiler alert—that’s not how it usually goes down in real life. Here’s my advice: make sure you’re in a comfortable spot and do what you want to get in the mood (light a candle, put on some music, watch some porn, think of Leonardo DiCaprio, etc.). Have your hand or a toy ready, and start adventuring and playing with yourself. See what feels good, change positions, change settings or speed of whatever you’re using, and relax. Figuring out how to orgasm takes time, but if it’s something you might enjoy, it is so worth the ride.
HC: What’s your advice to women who have never used a toy before?
DB: It’s totally okay if you’ve never used a sex toy before! There are so many different ones out there, and there’s so much time to experiment. A few important things to note about toy shopping: try to figure out what you like before you shop—do you like vaginal penetration, clit stimulation, both, or something else? There are certain toys that focus on specific areas of the body, so if you can think of a sexy body part, there’s probably a toy you can stimulate it with. Even though buying a toy can very much be a solo journey, you can always chat about toys with your friends. See what they like, why they like it, and how much they paid for it so you can dish about your favorites and normalize the topic of sex toy shopping and reviewing. The Sweet Vibrations site is one of my favorites to get you started.
Looking for some toy shopping inspo? Check out our editor’s picks below:
Gina Escandon, Beauty Editor
“I’m on a constant quest to stress less, and masturbation is a natural function that helps me do that. It releases a lot of physical and mental tension for me, in the same way relaxing with a bath bomb and hot tea does. I’d love to see young women talking more about how great masturbation can be because, honestly, the payoff from it is huge.”
Gina’s Pick: The Perfect Match
Edel Rimando, Assistant Social Editor – Video
“After long days and stressful weeks, sometimes you need downtime to yourself—and a face mask and a glass of wine might not be enough. It might not be for everyone, but being intimate with myself is the ultimate way to destress. And the best part is you don’t have to rely on another person to bring you pleasure.”
Edel’s Pick: Girl’s Best Friend
Holly Rhue, Branded Content Editor
“If masturbation isn’t for you, that’s totally cool. After all, it’s all about what makes you feel good and comfortable. For me, though, it’s an amazing way to relieve stress, relax, and remind myself that I don’t need a man! It’s nothing women should be embarrassed or ashamed of; it’s a natural part of life.”
Holly’s Pick: tuLips