Let’s be real: sharing your goals with families, friends, and close ones is borderline addictive. We want the people in our lives to celebrate us, whether it’s for signing up for a marathon, applying for a new job, or scheduling a date with that cute Tinder match. Getting our loved ones’ approval feels great, and so we rarely hold back on sharing every single little detail of what’s happening in our lives. But some people? They prefer to move in silence.
ICYMI, TikTok is the birthplace of what seems like hundreds of new theories each month, and one that’s recently taken users by storm is called the “moving in silence” theory, and it has everything to do with how you share your goals with others. Or, more specifically, how you shouldn’t share them.Â
“Moving in silence” is essentially what it sounds like — keeping big plans and goals to yourself as you’re working on them. That means no running to the group chat to announce you started your grad school application, or telling friends you’re planning to start running three times a week, for example. Instead, you let people know what’s going on once things have actually started to blossom.Â
But, what is the reasoning behind doing so? Well, people argue that sharing your goals before they’ve come to fruition can inadvertently sabotage them for various reasons. One of those is that sharing your goals or plans and then receiving outside praise for them can trick your brain into thinking that the goal is already reached, and so you no longer feel a strong sense of urgency to actually do it.
For example, hearing a bunch of “good jobs!” after sharing your plans to read two books a week floods your brain with dopamine, making it feel like just having the plan is an accomplishment enough — and just like that, you’ve stopped before you even started.Â
Another reason is that sometimes, opinions or remarks about your plans from close ones can seriously mess with your motivation. Even if they don’t mean it, certain questions or statements can give off a negative or doubtful feeling, causing you to grow self-conscious about your goals and your ability to achieve them. Insights from others can, of course, be helpful at times, but they can also lead to confusion. It’s hard to take outside advice with a pinch of salt when it’s coming from people you otherwise trust a lot, which is why it may be best to hold back a little on the sharing. At the end of the day, you know yourself best — trusting your own intuition is key.Â
How do I move in silence without shutting people out?
When working towards your dreams, TikTok recommends you keep as much of it to yourself as possible — and there may definitely be some wisdom in doing that. That doesn’t mean you have to shut your close ones out completely, though. Confide in them when necessary, sharing only some bits and pieces like “It’s been so exciting thinking about what I want to do after I graduate” — but keep most of the excitement to yourself (or your notes app and journal). After all, the “moving in silence” theory is a call to trust and be more confident in yourself. You don’t need to share everything you want to happen in your life — let it speak for itself once it’s come true.